


Back on track

by jaetens



Series: Entertainment City [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad Smut, M/M, actor!doyoung, artist!AU, but with happy ending, singer!taeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 13:30:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14570037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaetens/pseuds/jaetens
Summary: After two years of hiatus, Doyoung is trying to come back through the help of his brother Gong Myung. He sets to do one movie, one drama with a supporting role, a few magazine covers that the company will arrange for him, and a music video with recording artist, Lee Taeyong.





	Back on track

**Author's Note:**

> I had this sitting in my files for three years now, originally written for another pairing from another fandom. I gave up writing this when I stop stanning the group but then something happened and I suddenly had the will to actually finish writing. This is unbetaed and really raw. Please pardon all the grammar mistakes and other inaccuracies. 
> 
> I am bad at making summary. I am even worse at making titles T__T

To say it in the simplest words, Doyoung is nervous.

 

He should not be, given that his brother already assured him that this is a done deal and that whatever happens he will be by his side. Doyoung isn’t someone who gets jittery that easily. He has acted in various movies, done a couple of dramas, and got into two reality shows in his career so being nervous is almost a foreign feeling to him. He does not remember when the last time he felt that way aside from that particular time in the past. But this is not the time to be nostalgic. It’s time to move forward.

 

The office is not that spacious. The interior is dull. Doyoung can only see pale grey and black everywhere. The long wide table that they were asked to wait on is full glass, the matching seats bleed black and reek of leather. There are only four people in the room. Only two are talking and Doyoung isn’t one of those. He is busy calming his nerves.

                                                                       

"Like I told you, I will not sign the renewal contract if my brother will not be signed in the company as well." Gong Myung, Doyoung's older brother says. His voice is calm and cheerful. You can hear his smile in it if you are not looking. But Doyoung knows he is not negotiating. He is stating his terms. They can take it or leave it.

 

The secretary looks at Doyoung. Doyoung notes that he looks young, maybe in his mid-twenties. He is tall, sporting a pale blonde hair, and seems like he does not like Doyoung with the way he glares at his direction. The young secretary leans down to the man who's facing the tall window overlooking the city, the back of his chair is the only thing Doyoung could see. He does not talk directly to them. He only relies his messages through the young secretary.

 

After a long chat with his boss that felt like forever, the secretary stands up straight again to face Gong Myung. "Mr. CEO already accepts your conditions but we can only sign Mr. Kim Doyoung for a year in the meantime."

 

Doyoung knows why this is the case. The company is risking their reputation for signing someone who left the business all of a sudden without clear reason. Doyoung has been dubbed as unprofessional since then and after a while, rumors spread that he got addicted to alcohol and gambling, losing all his hard earned money from working as an actor for a decade. And now, after two years of hiatus, he is trying to come back through the help of his big time actor brother. He really cannot blame the company for their reluctance. They are only doing this because they need someone big and popular like Gong Myung in the company.

 

"Great!" Gong Myung cheers, clapping his hands together. He stands up once the CEO turns around to leave the room, taking his hand to shake, thanking him for doing him a huge favor. Doyoung stands up, too, to bow to the head of the company as gratitude. The man gives him one look and shakes his head as he walks out.

 

The secretary walks behind his boss and asks them to wait again. When he returns, the young secretary with the name Park Jisung presents two brown folders and sets them on the table. One containing Gong Myung's contract and the other for Doyoung. The brothers open the document in unison and read the provisions enclosed. Doyoung does not find anything special with it. It still all depends on how he does along the way. It might still change but all of those are what the company could offer now. One movie, one drama with a supporting role, a few magazine covers that the company will arrange as part of his come back, and a music video with one of their recording artists, Lee Taeyong.

 

Lee Taeyong. The name quite sounds familiar to Doyoung. He has heard it somewhere but because he was out of the loop for two years, he does not know who the prevailing big names in the industry are right now. This Lee Taeyong seems to be popular as this is the same person that Gong Myung will be collaborating with for a clothing line endorsement.

 

"We are trusting that Mr. Doyoung will be in his best behavior while he is signed in the company. The company has the right to terminate the contract once Mr. Doyoung is found engaging in delinquent activities." Secretary Park states, stressing the most important clause in Doyoung's contract.

 

"You can trust that my brother will not do something that will tarnish the company's reputation. He is a good man." Gong Myung assures.

 

Knowing how overly meticulous his brother is, Doyoung is not surprised anymore when Gong Myung took his folder for him to look over. He watches as his older brother reads everything that is written in the contract, scrunching his forehead when there is something unclear to him and nods when he likes what he sees. In conclusion, Gong Myung is satisfied with the contract despite its simplicity.

 

"I like it that Doyoung is going to act in Lee Taeyong's music video." Gong Myung states, smiling widely at Secretary Park.

 

"We have thought about this thoroughly and discussed the matter with Taeyong. Since he has so much respect for you, he said he is okay with working with your brother." Secretary Park explains.

 

Gong Myung has been endorsing Eccentric for a few years and it is only now that the brand would be getting another male celebrity to carry their name because of South Korea’s new heartthrob, Lee Taeyong. The singer had been seen wearing the brand’s clothes multiple times in the airport and people started noticing it. First came the shirts, and then the jackets, and recently, Lee Taeyong wears Eccentric's newly released sunglasses. Fans started researching and Eccentric suddenly sells like hot potato on the streets.

 

Doyoung does not say anything. He just immediately signs the contract without thinking twice. He is not in a position to be picky or to demand more from the company. If this happened a few years ago, he will surely throw the contract in the trash bin. An award-winning actor does not deserve this kind of treatment and mediocre contract.

 

Gong Myung bounces on his seat, straightening his long wool coat as he gets on his feet. Doyoung follows, thanking that this meeting is over. It is almost ten in the evening and he is already hungry. He isn’t used to have formal appointments like this even when he was still in the industry but Gong Myung is a busy man and this is the only time he is free to fix his baby brother’s rotting career.

 

Doyoung keeps quiet on their way home, or rather, on their way to Gong Myung's flat. He now stays with his brother after returning from Paris a year ago. He has sold his former place because there are too many unwanted memories that he opts to not dwell on. He owes his brother a lot and so he agrees on his idea of going back to work. But Doyoung is still scared. He lost his confidence along the way and he is aware that he lost the trust of his fans after everything that happened.

 

 

+++

 

 

Work starts coming back to Doyoung after he signed the contract with NEO Entertainment. He is required to attend workshops and character development seminars that the company (forces) enrolled him on. Gong Myung laughed when he knew about it but he told Doyoung to just follow the company rules so that he would gain their trust.

 

In Doyoung's opinion, it is quite ridiculous to be taught how to be an appropriate human being. He knows who he is and he does not need people to tell him how to act properly in public. Being in show business for so long, he already mastered proper public behavior and how to act in front of the press. These classes are boring him out. First and foremost, he is with bunch of trainees who are scheduled to debut a few months after his comeback. And secondly, the instructors are treating him like he has infectious disease.

 

The only highlight of his day is when he goes to an acting workshop in the evening. The class is small; there are only five students as the company is home of idols who sing and dance. It was only recently that they signed up actors (partly because of Gong Myung).

 

It has been a while since Doyoung read a script and internalized the character he will be portraying. Even if he is just in a workshop, he is thrilled every time he gets to act in the middle of the room, sometimes alone, sometimes with the others. He misses immersing himself in a role and being one with the character in a story. One of the things he likes the most about the class is that the others does not care about what happened to him. Of course, they know who he is and the rumors about him but they still welcomed him and became friends with him.

 

"I heard you are going to come back?" One of the actors in his class, Yuta, asks him while they are on their way to dinner. The others have other plans for the night so the two of them agrees to go to the chicken place just across the company building.

 

Having the same age as him, 26, it is not hard for Doyoung to get along with Yuta. Moving to Seoul from Japan when he was nine, Yuta already is fluent with Hangul. Having a Hollywood dream, He had tried auditioning to American companies after he graduated from theater school but luck was not on his side and realized, he did not want to live away from his parents. After getting small roles from indie films and thought it was enough to get him a job in LA but hasn’t received a single call from companies in the US, he worked in food business while auditioning and sending his demos to local agencies. Only NEO Entertainment called him back. Not letting the opportunity to slip from him, he agreed being a trainee for the meantime without any guarantee of debuting. After six months of waiting, his patience paid off when they told him they will launch him as their newest actor. And then Doyoung came to steal the limelight from him, pushing his debut to a later date.

 

"Yes." Doyoung confirms. There is no use in keeping it. Gong Myung advises that he should not disclose anything to the others to prevent gossips from circulating. They need to control information for now. But Doyoung finds Yuta trustworthy. He isn’t the quietest fellow but Doyoung is sure that he does not like putting his nose in matters that does not involve him.

 

Yuta only smiles then devours the chicken leg on his plate. Doyoung knows that Yuta is already doing small roles in dramas and movies and the company is preparing him for a bigger role soon. Maybe a movie or a primetime drama. Yuta mentions that, weeks ago, he was told that he was going to be in Lee Taeyong's music video but then management informed him that they would put him somewhere else. Hence, for now, he is waiting for something, the company's back up plan for his career.

 

"Nothing is certain for now but I guess this is for the best." The tall man utters nonchalantly, mouth full of food. He does not seem bitter but it does not eliminate the fact that Doyoung is the reason why his career is on hold as of the moment.

 

Doyoung stills, putting down a spoonful of rice that is about to enter his mouth. He feels bad for Yuta. He is not in a hurry to come back. He wants to come back, yes, but he does not want to snatch someone else's break in favor of himself.

 

"What?" Yuta asks when Doyoung suddenly looks like he was struck by a lightning.

 

Doyoung is not sure if he is going to tell Yuta that he is the person who replaced him in Lee Taeyong's music video. Yuta is a nice guy and out of all the people he met in the past few days, he is the only one that Doyoung is comfortable with. He does not want something like this, this simple project, to get in between them. He cannot do this and be the bad guy again.

 

"This music video.. Do you really want to do this?" Nervously, Doyoung inquires. He tells himself he can give this up. This man deserves this more than him.

 

Yuta wipes his finger with a napkin, looking up thoughtfully. "It is a good break because it is Lee Taeyong. Everyone wants to be associated with Lee Taeyong because he is popular and once you work with him, your name will be remembered by a lot of people. But if Lee Taeyong prefers another person then it is fine with me. It is his music video after all. He can do whatever he wants."

 

"He prefers another person?" Doyoung repeats Yuta's words. It is news for him. Nobody told him that he was picked by the singer. All he knew was they consulted this with Lee Taeyong.

 

"That is what they told me." Yuta gives another shrug then continues eating his chicken.

 

Of course, the company tells different stories to their talents so that they will not feel that there is favoritism happening. However, if there really is, Yuta does not seem to mind. He gives zero fucks about the politics inside the company as long as they give what is due to him. He is diligent and talented. Doyoung feels Yuta is being cheated by the company. Furthermore, this Lee Taeyong can sway the decision of the higher ups if he may. Just one word from him, everything changes. It does not sit right with Doyoung.

 

"I am sure they will put you in a bigger and better project." Doyoung really hopes because Yuta has all the potential to be a star. Maybe bigger than this Lee Taeyong that the company protects so much.

 

Yuta snorts, almost spitting out the bits of chicken from his mouth. "I do not wanna keep my hopes up but thank you."

 

On that day, he swears that when he gets back on track and when he meets the people he used to work with, he will put good words on Yuta's name. But before he can do that, he has to face almighty Lee Taeyong first.

 

 

+++

 

 

Gong Myung gets busier now that he just started filming his new movie on top of the drama he is about to do after. He is also holding fanmeetings in and out of the country plus shooting commercials from different brands. Doyoung barely sees his older brother in the house. Sometimes, he sees him before he goes to his workshops in the morning. They would eat breakfast together and Gong Myung would ask him about his trainings. But Gong Myungs often comes home late when he is in town, leaving Doyoung to sleep at night without him.

 

Thus, it is a surprise to see the older actor in the house at eight in the evening, popping grapes in his mouth as he watches TV in his grandiose living room. Gong Myung is sprawled on the white leather sofa in his matching green Adidas sweats and jacket.

 

"You are here." Doyoung greets when he enters the house from his workshop.

 

"Yes, I am here." Gong Myung answers in monotone, still focused on the program on his 85-inch monster TV.

 

Doyoung walks to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and then returns to the living to try to chat with his brother. He does not like talking that much but he is quite curious as to why his brother is watching Mr. Bean all of a sudden. Gong Myung does not watch Mr. Bean in an ordinary day. Mr. Bean only appears when he is pissed and wants to cheer himself.

 

"What is it?" Doyoung questions.

 

"What is what?"

 

"Who pissed you off?"

 

Gong Myung grunts loudly, sitting up on the couch and putting the bowl of grapes down on the oak center table in a not so careful manner. Now, Doyoung is sure something is up. He waits for the volcano to erupt.

 

"Lee fucking taeyong fucked up my schedule. Now, I need to work extra hours next week to finish our shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gong Myung screams.

 

_Oh, there it is._

 

_Lee Taeyong? Again?_

Doyoung has not met this person but his bad impression on him strengthens day by day.

 

Doyoung patiently listen as Gong Myung loudly rants about how he is supposed to meet Taeyong today for their Eccentric endorsement. They are slated to do have an event for the upcoming Seoul Fashion Week and the designers wanted to meet all the brand ambassadors personally. But the singer suddenly has to fly to Australia to finish filming the last episode for his variety show. His manager, a man named Moon Taeil, called and apologized for the last minute cancellation. He promised to call again once they finished filming so that they can talk about the new schedule.

 

To be honest, it is not a big deal since Gong Myung can do the fitting and meeting alone. Doyoung has attended fashion shows before so he knows how it all works. However, Gong Myung is strict about his time and works by schedule. He has never been late, never missed a deadline. Every second is important to him as he is not just an actor. He is also a friend, a family, and a person who needs time for himself. Lee Taeyong should know how time is important to people like them because he is also a busy man. Additionally, it is the first time for Gong Myung to join such a big fashion event.

 

"Have you met this Lee Taeyong?" Doyoung asks, curious at how his brother's impression on the guy. He wants to know if they feel the same.

 

"Yes." Gong Myung is calm by now, eating his grapes again as he hugs the square throw pillow on the couch. "He is really a nice guy. He is very polite and, even though he is short, he is good looking." Doyoung wants to chuckle on that honest remark about the singer's height but he opts to keep it in as he deems it unnecessary.

 

After changing the channel to National Geographic where a Hyena is about to attack a baby seal, Gong Myung sighs. Doyoung thinks he has calmed down by now. His brother does not stay mad long when he realizes that it is not worth his wrinkles. He does not have the energy to be angry at people because he thinks he can channel his energy to something more worthy.

 

"I do not think Lee Taeyong is a bad person." Gong Myung continues, biting down his lower lip. He looks really exhausted. "It is just that everything is pressuring lately and when one thing does not go in my way, I feel horrible."

 

Doyoung reaches out to tap his brother's shoulder. "I understand. You have the right to be upset. I just hope Lee Taeyong will not do this again."

 

 

+++

 

 

Once NEO Entertainment released that Lee Taeyong would be strutting down the runway for Eccentric and that Kim Doyoung would attend the event to support his older brother, the news went viral online faster than an epidemic. It got different reactions from netizens locally and internationally. Some were curious about how Kim Doyoung looks now after two years of hiatus. Some were excited to see the other side of the singer Lee Taeyong as it would be the first time for him to do modeling in his career. But most people, particularly Lee Taeyong's fans, are skeptical about Taeyong working with the Kim Brothers.

 

The fans are now aware that Doyoung is under the same company with Lee Taeyong and then now Lee Taeyong is endorsing Eccentric which is the same clothing line Doyoung's older brother is endorsing. It is not rocket science to figure out how this situation came to be. Fans are not dumb and they have enough sources to know what is happening with their idols. Even before the actual event, the Eccentric fashion show already got so much attention.

 

"You know, this is a good thing. I like how the company is handling this." Gong Myungs smirks as he scrolls down and reads online articles about the event on his mobile phone. The brothers are on their way to the venue now.

 

Doyoung is not impressed one bit. His name is all over the news a week before the occasion and people have started calling him names since they were reminded of a thing of the past. The only people benefiting are Gong Myung and Lee Taeyong. The articles attracted media and Eccentric show is quoted as one of the "most-waited" in the whole fashion week. As for Lee Taeyong, his popularity is rising especially now that he entered another branch of show business.

 

Not one good word was written for Doyoung. He feels used in all kinds of wrong way.

 

"People hates me more now because they think I will exploit the Jewel of South Korea." Doyoung spites. He does not need to read all the articles to know what people thinks about him. Seeing all the comments all over the internet is enough. Lee Taeyong is considered as South Korea's Treasure. People are protecting him because of his outstanding talent and pure heart and they are apprehensive that he will be tainted now that he is acquainted with the Kim Brothers.

 

Gong Myung clicks his tongue in distaste. "Bad publicity is still publicity. People now know you are back. All you have to do is prove them wrong."

 

Easier said than done. However, Doyoung admits his brother is right. Closing the conversation because they just arrived in the venue, he straightens his suit jacket as their car comes to a halt. A plethora of cameras flashing even before the doors are opened, expecting the famous brothers to come out of their limousine. Though honestly, they are more interested on taking shots of the "prodigal" actor.

 

Doyoung is more tensed than he expected. He is used to all of the camera, even paparazzis when he is in a personal outing. He is used to thousands of eyes staring at him, scrutinizing him, judging him, admiring him. But it feels different to be in this state again after two long years. Perhaps because this time, he is not perceived as the hottest actor of the century. They are not here to adore him. There are no screaming fan girls who want to be near him. This time, he can only hear camera clicking and reporters questioning about his disappearance.

 

Being his unofficial manager for the meantime, Gong Myung told him to not open his mouth even for a second in the event. There will be a proper venue for him to talk about his past and they are still arranging that. Tonight, he is only going to be part of the audience and a supportive brother.

 

The escorts push aside the reporters blocking the way. The brothers immediately proceed to the designated photo booth for the press to properly take photos of them.

 

Both of them are wearing original Eccentric. Gong Myung is in printed black long sleeved shirt paired with fitted black slacks. He completes his laid back but stylish look with a black fedora hat, lace up black boots, matching gold chain necklace and bracelet. On the other hand, Doyoung dons an all-white suit with a black bow tie. The outfit is part of the men's formal wear of the clothing line. He now has a jet black hair parted in the middle, to the surprise of everyone since they all know Doyoung always had trendy and colorful dos back in the day. Despite his snob aura caused by his constant straight face, he still looks godly attractive.

 

Gong Myung comically poses and showing his jolly character to the camera, slinging his arms around his brother’s shoulders. Unlike Gong Myung, Doyoung is not smiling one bit. He is known for his cold demeanor when he goes out in public so it is something they are accustomed about. He simply acknowledges the presence of the press who are calling his name, looking at their cameras for a second and then shifts his gaze to another.

 

After the photo opportunity, when the floor director instructs that another celebrity has already arrived and that Gong Myung has to go inside to prepare, the brothers exit the red carpet to go inside. Doyoung is ushered to his designated seat in front. There are ample of people inside already. Some he knows and some are new faces to him. It is uncomfortable when he is being stared at even though they are not gonna approach him. He cannot look at people's eyes directly, to smile and greet them, because he is not sure if the greetings will be reciprocated. He feels out of place in his own brother's event.

 

The seat beside Doyoung, he reads, is reserved for Lee Taeyong and two of his companions. For a good half an hour, Doyoung endures the murmurs and stares towards him. He is aware that they are talking about him. It will be over soon, he tells himself, as he waits for the show to start.

 

Minutes before the lights will be dimmed, a young reporter approaches him. Maybe in her early twenties. She introduces herself as a staff in a local fashion magazine and asks his permission to have a short interview with her. Doyoung does not know what to answer because he does not have a manager with him and he is not sure if it is alright to allow this kind of interview when his brother had told him that he should not talk for the meantime.

 

"I am just going to ask about your clothes. I hope it is okay." The young girl assures him.

 

Doyoung, supposing the lady is harmless, answers by telling her about his suit that is included in the set of clothes that will be released soon, the things the people should expect in the show, and how Eccentric is the up and coming brand in the fashion scene. The young reporter seems to be contented with his answers so she ends the conversation quickly without having follow up questions. Ironically, Doyoung is relieved that he is alone again.

 

As soon as the light is shut, signaling that the show is about to start any minute, Doyoung sees Secretary Park and the company’s CEO walk in and sit on the reserved seats for Lee Taeyong's companions. He bows politely at the two.

 

One by one, models appear on the narrow stage wearing Eccentric designs. Doyoung is not really interested. He has seen all of these clothes before and there is really nothing that catches his attention even though these men are all gorgeous in their own rights. He claps every now and then to show his support and fake enthusiasm. When Gong Myung finally comes out wearing one of the flagship design, he straightens and focus his attention to his older brother walking on the runway while effortlessly looking gorgeous.

 

When the moment the star of the night emerges, Doyoung feels a slight shiver down his spine. Hair on his body starts to stand and he finds it hard to look away. It is so weird that he is getting drawn to the person he initially thinks is not that interesting.

 

Lee Taeyong is wearing the white wool coat paired with white pants. His bright red hair is styled messily in the most disturbingly stunning fashion. In Doyoung's opinion, he is wearing too much eye make up for his own good because the singer's stares is piercing the life out of him.

 

He stares at his direction, right in front of the stage, and Doyoung’s brain suddenly malfunctioned. His breath hitches when the said man holds his gaze for two seconds before he turns away to smile at the crowd. Doyoung sweats hard, palms clammy and hands shaking on his lap.

 

When Doyoung recovers from his mental blackout, he realizes that there is nothing underneath the coat the singer is wearing. Doyoung can clearly see the expanse of his chest, milky skin exposed for the world to see. Lee Taeyong's abdomen is covered but Doyoung can tell that he is toned down there. He does not want to think about it more or his mouth will water.

 

The singer slowly walks on the runway full of swagger. What he lacks in height he makes up with confidence. All of a sudden, the blazer is a nuisance because Doyoung wants to see more of the singer's body. It is wrong to think something like that in a middle of a show but he cannot help when Lee Taeyong, unexpectedly, is this attractive. It fucking hurts.

 

Doyoung composes himself and tries not to gape. Thankfully, Lee Taeyong walks back to the mouth of the stage as he the other models comes out together with Gong Myung. Balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling, everyone stands up, including Doyoung, to give a loud applause for a successful show. Gong Myung is visibly happy, a bouquet of flowers in his arms and waving profusely to the audience. Doyoung is swelling with pride for his brother.

 

In the middle of Gong Myung's speech, Lee Taeyong looks at Doyoung for the second time and he notices how blinding his smiles is. There are wrinkles on Lee Taeyong's face when he smiles and Doyoung suddenly, slowly, melts because it’s so adorable. He cannot take it. He has to look somewhere else.

 

So, he does. He moves from his seat, cutting through the sea of people, and walks out.

 

 

+++

 

 

Doyoung is so dumb to think that he could avoid Lee Taeyong that night by going to their limousine earlier than most people. Being in the confines of the luxury vehicle and away from the rest of the people relaxes him. For a moment, he finds tranquility that the night is almost over and that he can skip the socializing part and be his normal caveman self. He is so wrong. Of course, there is going to be an after party and Lee Taeyong will be there.

 

The party is an exclusive affair so Doyoung is familiar with most of the people there. He is relieved that he does not have to put much effort smiling and accommodating people because a few of them are his and his brother's close friends. The only media that is allowed inside is the partner media of the fashion week and the magazine under Jaehyun, one of Doyoung's friends in the industry.

 

"Doyoung! Long time no see!" Jaehyun runs dramatically to him. He has not changed one bit. Doyoung is more than happy to see him.

 

Doyoung gives him a tight hug. "Nice to see you again, Jaehyun."

 

"Oh wow! I like the new look." Jaehyun comments on his hair, or the lack of style on it. He looks at him from head to toe and then he smirks. "Still as handsome as the last day I saw you."

 

"Thanks." The taller takes a sip from his glass of champagne.

 

"So, how is Paris?" Doyoung tenses with the question. He is not ready to talk about this part of his life with other people, even the ones who are close to him. He grips his glass a little bit tighter and hopes Jaehyun will not ask further.

 

Before Jaehyun can ask more, Doyoung is dragged by Gong Myung to the other side of the room.

 

"Sorry, Jaehyun. I will have to steal my brother for a moment. We will talk to you later!" Gong Myung waves at him and then disappears with Doyoung in tow.

 

Wherever his older brother is taking him, Doyoung is thankful that he was saved from that conversation. But Doyoung's face falls when he sees where they are going. There is so many things that he wants to run away from his life. One of them is the person who is already in front of him, drinking seductively from his glass and looking at Doyoung straight in the eyes one more time.

 

"Great show!" The company CEO congratulated Gong Myung. He is unbelievably cheerful. His eyes twinkles as he smiles.

 

"Thank you, sir!" Gong Myung says.

 

Secretary Park, on the other hand, just stands there with his drink and listens to the conversation. Even though the younger does not have any reaction at all, he is a pleasant presence there. Doyoung has an excuse to not look at Lee Taeyong by being a tall statue beside Secretary Park. Albeit their awful socializing skills, they are both good-looking statues at the very least.

 

Doyoung hears Taeyong and Gong Myung talking while he scrutinizes the dirt his white shoes accumulated for the past two hours. He is interrupted when his brother nudges him hard on his ribs and forces him to say something. He looks up and he sees four pair of eyes waiting for him to say something but he does not know what to talk about because he is not even listening. He open and closes his mouth like a fish out of water before he coughs. He is so screwed.

 

"So... uhhhh... nice show right?" He says unintelligibly. It is so terrible. He wants to swallow his own head because of shame. He is so sorry for his brother.

 

Gong Myung smiles, but that smiles says that he is not pleased about his brother's action. That smiles says he has to fix his brother's fuck up and it is time for Doyoung to gather his shitty behavior or he will disown him.

 

"Sorry about that. I think Doyoung had too much drink already." Gong Myung utters.

 

"Well, it is true. It was a nice show." Lee Taeyong suddenly speaks. He is not wearing the goddamned evil creation that is the white wool coat. Doyoung thanks all the higher beings as the singer is now in black buttoned up shirt and red and black checkered blazer, another one from Eccentric. He throws a quick glance at Doyoung before he looks back at Gong Myung.

 

Doyoung mumbles a thanks for no reason, feeling nervous in front of the company folks especially Lee Taeyong. Although not a social butterfly, he is usually confident and does not lose his composure easily. The way he is behaving is not really him.

 

"Anyway...I know you guys have not properly met my brother.” Gong Myung attempts to change the topic so that his brother could say or do something other than humiliating himself. He turns to the other guests in the circle to introduce Doyoung. "Doyoung, this is Secretary Park. You already know him. Taeil, Taeyong's manager. And of course, this is Taeyong."

 

The small man with a chiseled face, Taeil, offers his hand to shake and Doyoung takes it courteously while they both bow at each other. Taeil seems a kind and nice man with his wide smiles. On the other hand, Secretary Park only lifts an eyebrow at his direction. He expects nothing from the younger since he knows he is not fond of moving his face to make a reaction.

 

"It is nice to meet you, Doyoung." Lee Taeyong smiles at him, presenting his handsome smile to make Doyoung squirm in his spot.

 

"Uh- yeah. Nice to meet you too." Doyoung says.

 

"Gong Myung, you should have told your friends from Eccentric to include your brother in the show. He is so tall and equally good-looking." The singer suggests, smirking coyly.

 

"I thought about it but I do not want him stealing your limelight. Maybe next time." Gong Myung patronizes. He is really good at making people feel good at themselves. Doyoung wonders why this characteristic is not useful to him when Gong Myung tries to console him.

 

The group chats while Doyoung excuses himself to the bar to get another glass of champagne. He can just ask a waiter to do it for him but he feels he is not relevant in the circle anymore and he needs to be somewhere, any place really, away from Lee Taeyong. The handsome man keeps on looking at him and making him feel uneasy. He does not know what he wants or what he means. It extremely stresses Doyoung out.

 

Doyoung spots Jaehyun in the bar talking to the other designers and he makes his way there to mingle with them even if he is not sure what he will contribute in the conversation. It is better to be there, to have Jaehyun question him about things he does not to talk about yet, than to stand alone in a large room full of people and look like a wallflower. He fully regrets that he did not invite Yuta even if it is not really his place to invite people.

 

Thankfully, Jaehyun does not pry on the past and only asks him about the rumors surrounding that he will be coming back soon through acting in Lee Taeyong's new music video. The other designers are also interested in hearing about it first-hand so Doyoung gratifies them by confirming said humor. They say something about how it is a good move since Lee Taeyong is one of the most popular celebrities now and a collaboration will surely stir attention from the public. He learns more about the industry circle and the people who matters at the moment (inserting certain scandals here and there) as he listens, letting them gossip about other celebrities. Of course, designers know some juicy stuff as well.

 

The night gets deeper, some guests deserted the venue at this time, and Doyoung allows himself to consume more alcohol than he should be. Jaehyun does not stop him, when he orders more drinks for them after their group moved in the couch. More liquor pours in their glasses as if they will not run out. Doyoung lost track of time, not minding if he still needs to be up and early tomorrow for his workshops and the first meeting for Lee Taeyong's music video.

 

Lee Taeyong. Speaking of the devil, the beautiful- no, Doyoung argues inside his head- man enters the rest room the exact moment Doyoung turns around from one of the urinals. He has not properly zipped his pants yet when they lock gazes. Doyoung swallows the lump in his throat, straightening his jacket and zipping up his pants properly. And then the other man chuckles. He fucking chuckles after Doyoung zipped his pants. The singer goes to the sink to wash his hands while he looks in the mirror, checking his hair and face. Doyoung does not know why he stays, maybe it is the alcohol controlling him because he thinks the smaller man is too beautiful under the soft yellow light of the room and it attracts him like Lee Taeyong is a flame of a candle and he is the innocent curious moth, waiting for him to say something when Doyoung should have ran for his life and avoid this one on one confrontation.

 

"You stare a lot. Do you know that?" Taeyong turns around to face Doyoung. Obviously, Doyoung is not aware since he is busy ditching Lee Taeyong all night to mind that the other caught him gaping.

 

"I am sorry." Doyoung simply says.

 

"Are you really?"

 

"I--uhh- no. I mean, ye--" Doyoung is out of words. He cannot think properly when a very attractive man is alone with him in a room. He run his hand through his messy locks in an attempt to calm himself. "It is the first time I met you in person and I am not really used to being around celebrities anymore. It's been a long time."

 

There is that pitchy chuckle again. Maybe Lee Taeyong thinks he is pathetic and fanboying at him. Though, as a matter of fact, Doyoung is not sure why he is nervous and his palms are sweating at that very moment.

 

"Well," The singer reaches for the handle of the door. Finally, Doyoung sighs mentally. "You should get used to seeing me because we are going to work a lot with each other from now on."

 

And then Lee Taeyong is gone in a split second. Doyoung releases the breath he is unconsciously holding. If this will always happen whenever Lee Taeyong is around, Doyoung swears he is going to have a big problem once the music video filming starts.

 

 

+++

 

 

Doyoung is more than relieved when he finds out that he is going to have a different filming location and schedule so he would not have to interact with Lee Taeyong during the whole process. He only had to endure the other’s fleeting smiles and side glances at him when they were in the story conference. The singer was not subtle when he was praising Doyoung and making him uncomfortable in front of the production crew. Even Taeil was grimacing when Taeyong kept on saying unnecessary vanilla words at Doyoung during lunch.

 

The story is about a man who came from a poor family who aspires to become a national basketball player (the original script was the man is a dancer because Yuta is a good dancer as well but since Doyoung cannot dance to save his life, they revised it). Because his family has no money to support his education and his talent, he only plays basketball in their worn-out village court and then he meets a girl who shares the same passion as him. They help each other in fulfilling their dreams and ends up falling in love.

 

Doyoung has already met the girl who will play as his love interest. She is a model who has appeared in various advertisements for hair and skin care. She is tall, very pretty, with big round eyes. She is also too young to be paired with him, in Doyoung's opinion. But it is not his job to be concerned about age gaps and what nots.

 

Today is the start of the filming. Doyoung shows up a little bit early than his call time, showing his professionalism which he promised to the company. While waiting, he reads his script again to make sure that he knows what he is going to do once the camera starts rolling. It is his first time acting in a long while and even though this will only be a music video, his feelings are a mixture of nervousness and excitement.

 

The first day goes very well. Since Doyoung naturally plays basketball, it is not hard for him to shoot the scenes where he is playing. It comes instinctively to him when he goes in the court and handles a ball. It almost feels like he is not acting at all because he enjoys that part so much. They also filmed some parts with the girl and his parents. The second day, which will be the last day, will be in a different location but not far from the first one.

 

He predicts everything will go smoothly on the final day just like the previous. The last thing he expects is to see Lee Taeyong when he arrives in the location. He surely did not see that coming.

 

It was clear in the script reading that the artist will only be filmed in a studio while he sings. The actors are gonna be the only people on location.

 

_Don't tell me there are last minute changes again?_

 

"There is a last minute change in the script," one of the staff tells Doyoung while he is getting ready for his take, hair and make-up being done by the crew. She hands him the revised script and Doyoung almost chokes when he reads the revision.

 

"I have a scene with him?" Doyoung asks, trying to not sound too emotionally surprised.

 

"Yes. Just one scene, though. During the basketball game. Taeyong is going to be the one who will give you the opportunity to have a shot in the pro-league." The staff explains further.

 

"Is he some sort of a scout?"

 

"I am not sure. Maybe?"

 

"That does not make sense."

 

"Music videos do not makes sense in the first place so just go with it. You will be up in half an hour." The staff dismisses him before she goes out back to what she was doing earlier.

 

Half an hour turns to two hours because they shoot some scenes with Lee Taeyong singing in some bridge nearby. They advise Doyoung to take a rest while he waits. He is woken up by his assigned personal assistant when his part is about to start. As the whole day progresses, Doyoung almost forgets what will happen later. The basketball game is the last thing they will film for him to not exhaust himself thoroughly. It will not look good if he looks tired when he does the romantic scenes with the girl.

 

Finally, it is time for him to act with Lee Taeyong. The director requests to have a rehearsal take since the singer says he is not good with acting and he needs some guidance.

 

_Then why the fuck did they tell you to act? You could have just sing inside the fucking studio!_

 

Doyoung goes on without a complaint. This is really a small part, maybe not more than 10 seconds in the actual video. He can tolerate how Lee Taeyong is looking at him in the eyes longer than a normal person should and how he keeps making small talk that Doyoung is not interested in.

 

"Are you tired?" Taeyong whispers at him as they were waiting for the director's command. They are in the hallway of the school where the singer will be waiting for Doyoung after the game.

 

Doyoung simply shakes his head.

 

"Do you want some water?"

 

Doyoung sighs. This guy is really persistent. He is not friendly at him since the beginning so he does not comprehend why this celebrity is bothering to be nice to him. Doyoung is clear with his actions that he does not want anything to do with him aside from their professional affiliation.

 

"Are you free later?"

 

"What?" Doyoung asks even though he positively hears him. His thoughts are going haywire because why is Lee Taeyong asking him out? He does not know the answer and he does not want to know either.

 

"I am treating everyone out for dinner. Are you free to join?"

 

_Oh._

 

Doyoung swallows the imaginary lump in his throat and coughs a bit to clear it. He hopes his expression does not tell Taeyong that he is somewhat disappointed that his expectations does not meet reality. It is weird that a part of himself thinks about a certain thing and the other part wants the opposite. He has a very conflicting emotion for this person it is driving him crazy.

 

"Are you coming?" The singer gets him out of his thoughts.

 

"I am not sure. I will try."

 

"Good enough. But I hope you can because it will be such a shame without the lead actor." He smiles again with that wrinkled smile of his and, really, Doyoung is going crazy.

 

 

+++

 

 

After making it into the entertainment headlines of magazines and newspapers, Doyoung starts getting endorsement deal offers. Just like what Gong Myung had told him, the people is not going to accept him right away but creating noise and announcing his return is already a good sign. A tiny part of it can be credited to Jaehyun. Thanks to their friend’s connections and spreading some words in his circle that Doyoung is actually a good guy, companies are starting to consider him.

 

The first brand that successfully signed him is, ironically, a make-up brand. Doyoung does not want to accept it as he is not confident that he could represent a brand for women. He has little idea about make-up and he does not really wear one unless he is going to work. As much as possible, he wants his face make-up free. Eventually, he agrees since he really has no say when he is under the mercy of the company. They decide everything that he will do for a whole year that he is under them anyway.

 

Given that he will more likely to be busy in the following days, they have assigned a manager for him. The person's name is Seo Youngho. He hails from Chicago in America but is living in Seoul since college. That is all Doyoung knows about him. He can speak the language and they say he does his job well. According to him, Doyoung is the first person he will manage alone. The past talents he handled were just trainees, driving them around to small shoots and making sure they stay alive despite the minimal budget on their accommodation and food. The tall guy is nice, a little bit funny because he laughs at every simple things, and Doyoung thinks they will get along.

 

Youngho is an efficient manager, making sure Doyoung's schedules are followed every day and if there are changes, he will fix it right away so they will not be late. He hates being late. He tells Doyoung that being punctual is the most important characteristic of an actor as it shows professionalism. If they always show up early, people will see that they are dedicated and serious about their job.

 

For a tall but gentle guy, Doyoung eventually finds out, Youngho could be scary when it comes to work.

 

"I do not wanna fuck this up. I do not want you to fuck up because when you fuck up I am going to be fucked too." Youngho says when he tosses Doyoung out of bed early in the morning for their 9am meeting with potential clients, also known as producers of a TV station. His lean body got some strength, too.

 

(Gong Myung gave Youngho full access to his home so that he can do his job as Doyoung's manager properly. The other Kim does not mind seeing Youngho barging in the house and yelling at Doyoung.)

 

These producers are from EXO TV, one of the TV stations in Seoul. Doyoung is offered a guesting in their popular program called NEXT DOOR, where the guests will have to live the life of a suburban neighborhood for two days. Doyoung has heard a lot of things, nice things, about the show but he has not had a chance to go even when he was still relevant in the showbiz industry. He will fly to Jeju next week to film an episode. The synopsis of the episode will follow later.

 

On the day of their flight, Lee Taeyong shows up in the airport with Taeil. They also happen to board the same plane as them because apparently, Lee Taeyong is visiting a relative on the very same day Doyoung is flying to the island. It is starting to creep Doyoung out that the singer keeps on appearing out of the blue. The worst part of it all is that they are sitting next to each other.

 

Doyoung asks Youngho what is up with the sitting arrangement. Doyoung is alone with the smaller man at the back while everyone, both his and Lee Taeyong's staff, are all in front with the other passengers.

 

"I am not the one who did the web check-in." Youngho answers when Doyoung tugs at his jacket, pulling him down so Doyoung can whisper in his ears, when his manager checks if he needs anything. They are about to take-off.

 

"Can't I change seats with Taeil?" Doyoung asks, almost pleading because he cannot think he will survive an hour beside the creepy artist who thinks it is okay to stare and smile at him like they are friends.

 

"Later. We will about to take off." Youngho leaves him helpless as he tries to look at the opposite side so that he cannot see what evil shenanigans Lee Taeyong is plotting. It is not helping that Doyoung is beside a couple who are snuggling with each other. They seem to not mind their surroundings with their disgusting display of affection.

 

When the plane takes off and they are already allowed to unbuckle their seat belts, Lee Taeyong starts making small talks with him by bringing up the dinner he hosted last time. Doyoung is waiting for Youngho to walk to him with Taeil but Doyoung sees the singer’s manager already sleeping soundly in his seat and his own manager is busy watching whatever sensual material he has in his phone. Doyoung accepts defeat.

 

"You suddenly disappeared without saying goodbye." Lee Taeyong pouts. He literally does the thing with his plump lips and Doyoung's stomach makes a rumbled noise. It is cute but Doyoung hates anything cute so he concludes that he hates Lee Taeyong pouting.

 

"I was really tired and I have a commitment the following day." Doyoung answers calmly. It was true that he had commitment the following day with some journalist who wanted to do an exclusive interview about his return. About being tired, though, he just makes an excuse to not stay longer and escape the red-haired man.

 

"You should have told me. I was looking for you." The pout is still there. His entire being is infinitely pissed at the moment.

 

"I am sorry." He says this sentence quite often around Lee Taeyong. He is not a person who apologizes a lot but his brain cannot formulate other sentence when he is around the other guy.

 

"You have to make it up to me!" The pout expires which should please Doyoung but then Lee Taeyong sounds extra happy with the thought of Doyoung doing him a favor as a way to be forgiven. This does not look good.

 

Doyoung can see the mischievous look in Lee Taeyong's eyes, how his pointed devil tail appears behind him, wagging scandalously, and two horns growing out of his forehead. He is a spawn of satan using an angelic human body as a disguise. Having no choice at all, Doyoung nods. "Whatever you want."

 

 

+++

 

 

NEXT DOOR recording lasts for two days. Doyoung joins other gorgeous bachelors such as Park Chanyeol, Jung Wooseok, and Hwang Minhyun in the episode where their survival instincts and cooking skills are tested. Doyoung enjoys the filming, particularly the part where they had to fish so that they have food for dinner and then join the locals in a wedding after party. They all got slightly tipsy with the rice wine and all the dancing.

 

By the time Doyoung and his staff reaches their hotel the following day, he is already dead tired. It is 8 in the evening in his clock. He has to feed his employees now so they can relax and have their merry way all they want. He calls Youngho in his room to tell everyone that they will be leaving for the restaurant in 15 minutes.

 

"Taeil invited us to dinner. I said yes since we do not have plans yet." Youngho informs him. "And also, he asked for your number. He said Taeyong will text you."

 

True to his words, Doyoung’s phone that was sitting on top of his bedside table vibrates, an unknown number flashing on his screen. He is sure it is Lee Taeyong.

 

_Hey, let us have dinner. You promised you will make it up to me! Your manager has the directions. I will wait for you here (_ _づ￣_ _³_ _￣_ _)_ _づ_

 

He sent him a kissy face. He fucking sent him a kissy face. Doyoung palms his face and sighs. He wonders if this Lee Taeyong gets flirty with all the people he works with. But then again, maybe it is just all in Doyoung's head because he knows deep inside Lee Taeyong's advances are getting into him.

 

"Are you okay?" Youngho asks, worry evident in his tone.

 

"Yeah. Let us go to dinner now."

 

Doyoung did not bother changing his clothes for dinner, still wearing the same ensemble he used in the last day of recording - plain white shirt and khaki boardshorts. He looks too casual for dinner, not sure if Lee Taeyong booked a fancy place for but he was too tired and hungry to care about how he looks.

 

When they arrive, the abundant amount of food are all laid on the big round table. Taeyong's staff are already seated while Taeyong and Taeil are the ones who welcome Doyoung and his company to the place. Doyoung notices that the restaurant is closed for the day, or maybe only for the rest of the evening, as there are no other customers around (though there are a few fans sitting outside waiting for Taeyong to come out). It makes sense because there is a celebrity occupying the area and NEO Entertainment cannot afford to make a chaos in such a public place.

 

"Hello! I am glad you made it!" Lee Taeyong greets all of them with his blinding smile and cheerful disposition. He guides them to the table, prompting them to start eating already.

 

Doyoung sits on the chair beside Youngho and the singer automatically takes the space on his other side. He does not make a comment on it anymore because first, he is too hungry to care, and second, he knows Lee Taeyong cannot be stopped when he wants to do something. He has learned that on the short period he has interacted with him.

 

"Are spicy food alright with you?" Lee Taeyong asks. Doyoung only nods, mouth full of dumplings and rice. He is not really fond of eating spicy delicacies but he can take them, and besides, he is eating free food so he is not in the position to be picky. "I cannot really eat anything that is too spicy."

 

That is when Doyoung notices that Taeyong only eats the dishes that are not meant to be spicy. He gets bits of pieces from the Spicy Chicken Cubes but he does not indulge. He only eats some noodles and then some pork cutlets. He seems like not a big eater unlike Doyoung whose plate is almost full.

 

"I think you should eat more." Doyoung says, putting some of the fried dumplings on the other's plate. He also added more crab rice and the leg part of the sesame duck.

 

"I cannot finish all these!" Taeyong protests, grimacing at the amount of food on his plate now.

 

"You should finish them all. Do not waste food." Doyoung orders. He feels a slight pride inside of him when Taeyong starts eating, albeit slowly, he tries to finish everything. It is also a good thing that Taeyong is busy eating so he cannot bother Doyoung.

 

After the dinner, Taeyong shows his generosity by saying that he will pay for the drinks for all the staff. Although Youngho reminds that they need to fly back to Seoul tomorrow morning, it does not stop the rest from giving in to alcohol's temptation. Being all in the same company, all the staff are familiar to each other and it does not take an hour before the sounds of laughter erupts. Doyoung decides to just sit in the corner with his bottle of beer while he listens to the boisterous banters. It is a good way to know his crew better and hear some gossips within the company.

 

Shortly, he is joined by Lee Taeyong with his own bottle of beer. The smaller pulls a chair beside him and settles on it. His fluffy hair bounces when he shifts his body towards Doyoung and Doyoung gets a sniff of the citrus aroma his hair emits. Somehow, after dinner and accepting that he cannot shake off the singer no matter what he does because they will be working together one way or another in this small world called showbiz, Doyoung does not feel running away when Lee Taeyong is near. The trepidation is still there but Lee Taeyong is too gentle and too nice for Doyoung to still shut him out.

 

"I am so full. Look at my bloated tummy!" Lee Taeyong flattens his shirt so he can display the evident bump on his stomach. He looks like a pregnant kangaroo and Doyoung cannot help but giggle at it. He is too cu- no. No, Doyoung does not want to think about it. No, the singer is not that word.

 

"Serves you, right." Doyoung snickers, curling one side of his lips upward in a smug smile. Despite the lack of bite in his words, he sees the singer bowing down and frowning on his lap. He nudges his shoulders. "Hey, I am just joking."

 

Lee Taeyong looks up at him through his eyelashes and Doyoung thinks, that maybe he is not cute at all. He thinks Lee Taeyong is a little bit too beautiful for his liking and it actually scares him. "Can't blame me when you act so allergic at me whenever I am around."

 

"It is not my fault when you are pushing yourself to someone who is not exactly friendly." Doyoung says matter-of-factly. He does need to beat around the bush and the other seems to be catching on the vibes.

 

"There is nothing wrong with being friends, you know." Taeyong shrugs, sipping a small amount of bitter liquid from his bottle.

 

"You do not know what you are getting yourself into, Lee Taeyong. I am not the person you want to be acquainted with." He can stop avoiding Lee Taeyong but he is not sure if it is a good thing for the other to be friends with him. It is a lot of effort to be friends with anyone at this point in his life. The only thing he is focused on is to get back on track. Building relationships is not part of his agenda.

 

"I do not care." The singer stubbornly says.

 

"Why do you even bother?"

 

"Why are you so uptight?"

 

Doyoung exhales. Avoiding this person is one thing, winning an argument against him is another. He shakes his head because he know Lee Taeyong is not going to back down.

 

"Fine, but do not take it against me when I say I told you so."

 

 

+++

 

 

In spite of his inhibitions at being close with another person, Doyoung easily gravitates towards Lee Taeyong in just a short time. It becomes a habit that the singer will attach himself to Doyoung (he likes holding on to Doyoung's arms like a Koala) when they see each other in the company or even outside when they run into each other. The gesture still makes Doyoung's skin crawl but at least he is learning how to accept such behavior and gradually getting used to it

 

Inevitably, the fans notice that Taeyong is hanging out a lot with Doyoung in the past few weeks at the same time with the promotion of the singer's new song. People assumes they are only doing it as part of marketing but the chemistry cannot be disregarded. It took time, couple of Twitter posts and interactions to prove that they are truly friends, before the majority of Taeyong's fans accepted that Doyoung is not using Taeyong for his re-launch and a little bit longer before some have been converted as a fan.

 

During his interviews on TV or radio programs, Taeyong is always asked about Doyoung and the former only has good words for him. At the moment, though he is already casted as a regular cast of a reality show titled "Challenge Accepted", Doyoung does not have any projects so he is not that visible to people compared to Taeyong. He cannot make any comments about the media's inquiry but he makes sure that he tells them nice things about the singer.

 

Their relationship progresses and soon Doyoung is comfortable with with Taeyong's constant pestering. He is as clingy as a newborn baby and it is annoying if you will ask Doyoung truthfully. He does not like getting on his affairs and he values his privacy more than he values his skin. But Taeyong successfully placed himself in Doyoung's life where he has a say on what shoes Doyoung should buy or what scent of deodorant matches him the best.

 

Moreover, and Doyoung believes is the turning point of their friendship, if before, he would often call him with his whole name, now he had learned to call him with his first name as per the smaller's request.

 

The younger of the two prefers that Doyoung calls him plainly Taeyong. Doyoung cannot help it when he addresses him with his full name because it is what he got used to. However, according to Taeyong, calling him like that forfeits the purpose of being friends.

 

"Do you want to be called Kim Doyoung by your friends? By your brother?" Taeyong asks exasperatedly. Doyoung visits him in the practice room one night after his own schedule, sitting on the floor as he watches everyone bump and grind in a way that is not really appropriate for minors ( _what are these hip thrusts for???_ ). Taeyong is still dancing in front of the mirror while his back up dancers were taking a 15-minute break.

 

The artist is going to have a concert in two months so they had already started with rehearsals. Doyoung does not like staying in the stuffy room filled with half-naked sweaty men but he cannot say the same when he looks at Taeyong without a shirt on. It is wrong to stare at his friend like that. It is just that he cannot help it and Taeyong really has nice body. Lean and muscular and might be a little perfect against his broad and tall one.

 

"What is the big deal? I am used to calling you that." Doyoung answers.

 

"Then get used to calling me Taeyong?"

 

"What about Lee?"

 

"What about no?"

 

"LeeTae? TaeTae?"

 

"Just call me Taeyong!" Taeyong bellows. It sends Doyoung rolling on the floor. It is so fun making fun of him.

 

"Alright. Calm down, Taeyong. Are you happy?"

 

"Better."

 

Doyoung tries his best to only use his first name when they talk or see each other in the company hallways. It surprises Doyoung that he is actually exerting effort and not bailing out after a day. He admits that having someone to talk to aside from his brother and Youngho is nice, to get constant good night and good morning texts every day, to have someone waiting for him at the end of the day to have dinner with. It feels good to have an easy company. Even if he is the busier one, Taeyong is always available for him.

 

 

+++

 

 

Due to his concert preparations and overseas commitments, Taeyong will not be able to watch the pilot episode of Doyoung's first reality TV show. Doyoung has filmed couple of episodes in various places in the country and told Taeyong every bit of the experience while the artist is city hopping all over South Korea. They could only talk on the phone at night when Taeyong is about to sleep. Doyoung does not want to admit it but he misses the constant texts and calls. It gets boring when he checks his phone and only sees Youngho's nagging texts or his brother's daily inspirational quotes. This time, he is the one who contacts Taeyong first to know if he is doing okay. He worries (yes, he does now) that the other is pushing himself too far for his performances when he just told him a few days ago that his back is acting up again.

 

The call comes at 10 in the evening when Taeyong is in transit going to Busan. Doyoung could not be reached today so he promised that he will call him once he is available. "Yaaaaahhhh!!!! I recorded the first episode so you could watch when you get back!" Doyoung screams on the phone that startles Gong Myung who is eating dinner with him at that time.

 

"Do not scream! My head is aching, Jesus Christ." Taeyong snaps without meaning it. It is nice to finally hear the singer's voice after days of only exchanging texts.

 

"I am sorry. I am just--"

 

"No, do not apologize." Taeyong sighs. He sounds so exhausted, there is no excitement or the squeal in it like the usual, and Doyoung has the urge to just end the call so the other can sleep. "I am sorry I am just so tired." Doyoung hears rustling of cloth against leather. He assumes Taeyong is lying down inside the car, shifting to find a more comfortable position, and a blanket is draped over him.

 

"You should not have called then." Doyoung says with a low tone. He means it even if it will really upset Taeyong. He is sure he will feel that he is pushing him away again.

 

"Hey.. I said I am sorry. I am tired but we haven't talked in a while. I want to talk to you, okay?"

 

"Okay." Doyoung nods even if the other person on the line will not see it. "How are you?"

 

"Same. Tired. Concerts. Travel. You already know that. How about you? How is filming?" Just like that, the conversation shifts to Doyoung. Taeyong always eager to hear how his day went or what are the things he will do on the coming days.

 

Doyoung tells him about the Vogue cover he will do next month with the American model and reality star Kendall Jenner. Taeyong praises him and tells him that he beats him with working with international stars. Doyoung argues that he still wins because he is going to shoot a movie with Song Joong Ki after his concert tour. They talked for a few more minutes, the last thing Doyoung hears is Taeyong promising he will watch the first episode of his show online when they get to their hotel and then Doyoung only hears the soft breathing of his friend accompanied by the faint rumble of a moving car. There is a slight disappointment but he understands that Taeyong is really tired and he needs all the sleep he can get to regain his energy.

 

"Good night, Taeyong. Talk to you soon," says Doyoung even if he knows he will not get a reply before he hangs up.

 

When he gets up from the couch, he sees his older brother emerging from the kitchen, a glass of milk in one hand and plate of cookies in another. Gong Myung is already in his silk red pajama pair.

 

"Midnight snack?" Doyoung asks, walking past him to get a piece of apple in the fridge.

 

Gong Myung disregards his question and opts to ask one. "Is that Taeyong you were talking to?"

 

"Yeah." With a sigh, Doyoung goes to the fridge to get something, anything really, that can help him relax and take his mind off a certain person. He worries and, maybe, he misses that person a little bit too much than he should.

 

His brother catches the weary in his voice, leaning against the center island in their kitchen and waits for Doyoung to close the fridge. Gong Myung is curious, Doyoung can tell, and being brothers for all their lives, Doyoung knows he cannot hide anything to his brother even if he lies. Gong Myung knows how close he is with the singer now. Since Taeyong insisted to be his friend, Gong Myung has told him that he has never seen him laugh or smile like that in a long time and he is certain that the reason for his happiness is the red-haired guy.

 

But Doyoung does not know what he really wants from their friendship. He does not know why he feels lonely now that Taeyong is away from him for almost a month when he is loaded with work and Gong Myung makes sure to check up on him every day. All he knows is Taeyong left an empty spot that only he can fill when he left for his tour.

 

"Taeyong is a good person." Gong Myung comments.

 

That is something Doyoung already knows. He and Taeyong started off quite in the wrong side with all the bad impressions and weird eye contacts but he has proven that the singer is someone who cares genuinely and is passionate with every single thing he does. Doyoung has come to appreciate the delicate part of him, his talents, and even his naiveté.

 

He does not know what Gong Myung is trying to tell him, though. He ignores his brother’s remarks and wishes him a pleasant night before he decides that there is nothing appetizing in the fridge and that he will just eat in the morning.

 

+++

 

 

Work is coming in one by one until Doyoung begins spending more time outside than in his room waiting for another day to start. Filming the reality show takes up most of his time, usually ending the morning after or two days later when they have to be on location somewhere outside the city. His schedule is quite manageable compared to others unlike Lee Taeyong who always have to hop on trains or planes every other day.

 

In the van, while they are on their way to another photo shoot, Youngho informs him about the new ventures that he has earned. Apparently, sports brands are seeking after him but the company only signed him up for Adidas. Cool enough, he thinks.

 

“And then there is a movie offer but management thinks you are not yet ready so they turned it down and instead accepted a supporting role for a web drama.” Youngho explains as he hands him a cup of green tea that he gratefully takes.

 

He understands that the company does not want to rush. The demand is there so they let these agents stay hungry to keep them interested for a long time. Although Doyoung is pleased that he is getting back on track and being managed well, a part of him wants to just grab all the offers. He misses being in the business so much.

 

“This week you are quite loaded.” Youngho continues.

 

“No free day?” Doyoung asks.

 

The tall manager goes through his planner one more time to check. “Nope. But on Thursday you only have to attend one product launch and then you are good for the whole day.”

 

He remembers that Taeyong will be back from Taiwan that day and smiles because he can spend more time with him than what he had expected. The singer has not made any plans with him yet, and he is quite sure the younger is still going to be busy, but an idea to spontaneously drag him somewhere sounds enticing at that moment.

 

Come Thursday, after the press launch that he has to attend, Doyoung asks Youngho if there are news about Taeyong landing and if he has commitments that day. His manager looks at him with incredulity (“dude, you can ask him yourself”) before dialing Taeil. After a few pleasantries, Youngho confirms that Taeyong is free all day but Taeil wants his talent to get full rest since he has an early appointment the following day. That is enough for Doyoung. He can manage a few hours to spend time with his friend.

 

“You two.” Gong Myung says, raising a malicious eyebrow to his brother.

 

“What?” Doyoung asks, pausing for a second before he puts the grocery bags on top of the counter. He does not want to acknowledge what his brother is implying because that is not really the case. He just wants to do something nice for a friend to give back. This does not mean anything more.

 

Gong Myung only shrugs and gives the nastiest smirk to Doyoung before he leaves the room. The latter only ignores it in favor of preparing the food. Although there is nothing much to do as he only needs to put the nacho chips on a platter and the dip in a bowl, he makes it sure everything is presentable. He cannot remember when the last time he did this for someone was but it feels good to do a caring gesture again. It feels good to care again.

 

Kicking Gong Myung out of his own house is not part of his plans but his brother knows that the two of them needs alone time (even if they do not really). The older actor takes his bag and laptop with him and drives off to Jaehyun’s place when Doyoung tells him that he is going to invite Taeyong over after asking what all the bags of nacho chips and marshmallows he brought home are.

 

Doyoung promised to pick up Taeyong in his apartment at eight in the evening. The singer is all set to go when he arrives, carrying a duffel bag with him and only wearing a big hoodie paired with sweatpants, slip on sneakers and a cap. He looks so homey but still attractive.

 

Taeyong looks tired, more tired than the time he last saw him and the image sort of tugs something inside him. There is a force that makes him want to take care of the smaller, to protect him by all means because, even if Taeyong appears and says that he is okay, he feels he is not and that he also wishes to stop at some point. But Doyoung does not say anything, starting the car once Taeyong buckles his seatbelt and smiles at him, signaling he is ready to go.

 

Youngho only recorded two episodes of his reality show, which Doyoung thinks is alright since Taeyong needs sleep. They are in the entertainment room of Gong Myung's house, sitting on the leather couch with a big fleece blanket over them. It's perfectly warm and comfy for Taeyong. Doyoung knows because the singer heaves a contented sigh once he drapes the soft material over them. He huddles close to Doyoung and leans his head on his arm.

 

"Are we ready?" Taeyong asks.

 

Taeyong is laughing quite every other time Doyoung appears on screen. It is either tripping or hitting himself of concrete surfaces accidentally. Doyoung tries to defend himself, saying he got long limbs and it isn't his fault that there is always something on the way. Taeyong side eyes him in return and then goes back to laughing at him.

 

Taeyong passes on the chips, preferring to munch on the colorful fluffy sweets in the other bowl. Doyoung came to know about the other's preference on anything sweet, a complete contrast of him who will choose steak over cake.

 

"How's your drama filming going?" Taeyong asks while they are taking a break. Doyoung does not want to subject the singer further to more embarrassment. And it's close to midnight now. Taeyong needs to go home to rest.

 

Doyoung stretches, wrinkling the blanket covering them. Taeyong leans back and he misses the other's warmth instantly. "It's okay. I do not have that much lines so it's kinda chill on the set."

 

Doing mobile drama is much easier than filming an actual movie. Doyoung is only doing a best friend role, appearing a couple of minutes in every 15-minute episode. Maximum of 5 minutes. Doyoung is fine because he can take naps in between and has ample of time to do other things like monitoring what Taeyong is doing. But, of course, he isn't going to tell that to the singer. It is a habit he has developed the past few days. He does not know how or when it started. Out of the blue, a video of Taeyong pops in his search engine timeline and the next thing he knew, he was watching more. His concerts, his music videos, his interviews.

 

The more he gets exposed to Taeyong, the more he is asking for more.

 

Taeyong hums, resting his head on the back of the couch, facing Doyoung sideways, eyes closed but a small smile painting his face. He mirrors Taeyong's position to stare more at him. He looks beautiful like this, Doyoung thinks. Bare faced and calm. Doyoung wants to run his fingertips on his face, to touch his slightly blemished skin that is still perfect nevertheless.

 

"I think you should rest now." Doyoung whispers.

 

Taeyong tries to open his eyes. He is obviously exhausted but is trying his best to stay awake for Doyoung. That alone makes Doyoung's heart swell.

 

"We have one more episode to watch. I wanna see you trip." The singer giggles, showing the cute wrinkle on his cheek.

 

"You can watch me trip some other time. I am gonna drive you home now."

 

The smaller pouts, closing his eyes again and pulling the blanket closer to his face. "I don't want to."

 

"Don't be stubborn."

 

"I wanna stay."

 

"But you have work tomorrow."

 

"I wanna stay." Taeyong repeats, but with more conviction. "Please."

 

Doyoung sighs, conceding. He will never win against Taeyong. "I will drive you early tomorrow."

 

Taeyong smiles again and closes his eyes. The couch is too big to fit the two of them but Taeyong shifts closer so that he is right beside Doyoung now. Doyoung lets him even if there is a siren ringing in his head.

 

"So comfy." Taeyong murmurs against his arm. They change to a more comfortable position, lying parallel against each other. Taeyong taking the inner part and Doyoung near the edge.

 

There is no such thing as personal space between them now. Doyoung can feel Taeyong's breath on his chest. It is both comforting and alarming. Doyoung wants to get closer but at the same time, scared of the repercussions of not putting a barrier between them. The barrier he wants to keep to protect Taeyong from him.

 

"Good night." Taeyong says before he moves even closer, if that is even possible.

 

Doyoung only allows himself to relax when he feels Taeyong's steady breathing. He inhales the citrusy scent of his locks before he gives in to slumber.

 

 

+++

 

 

Taeyong gets busier each day right after he releases his latest full album. They go weeks without seeing each other, only talking on the phone when they are free especially now that the company is trying to penetrate the western market. Doyoung is fine with that. He is very proud of what Taeyong is achieving. He will admit he isn’t used with the silence, no one nagging him to leave his room or to clean. Youngho is always on his sleeves, making sure he won’t ruin his career by reminding him every second about what he has to do. Taeyong nags like a mother but there is something endearing with how he wants Doyoung to pick up dirty socks on the floor.

 

Doyoung doesn't want to entertain the idea, to even think about what is happening between them. He knows and feels. He isn’t blind and he doesn't want to deny what the other is giving him. He accepts it and reciprocates. He is happy if you ask him. Aside from the improving reception of people on him, he has Taeyong to cheer him up. He has Taeyong who genuinely believes in him.

 

“Taeyong is coming back tomorrow.” Youngho casually says while they are waiting in the dressing room for another TV guesting, a cup of coffee on his hand. His manager is well aware about what’s going on, has an idea of basically what was happening between the two artists in the company and Youngho is such a cool guy to allow Doyoung slip into meetings with Taeyong in between their schedules when they both can. Doyoung is grateful that his manager understands him even if he is such a strict one. He is thankful that Taeyong’s manager, Taeil, is lenient with them, too. There is a strict rule in the company about employees, especially artists, being “friendly” with each other and Doyoung isn’t saying that he and Taeyong are in that state because he hasn’t talked to Taeyong about it and he isn’t sure that there is something to talk about.

 

“Yeah, he told me.” Doyoung replies, eyes closed while the make-up artists retouches his eye shadow. Just a faint color, a neutral tone, to give his face a little color.

 

Youngho looks at his electronic planner and says, “Taeil texted me and says Taeyong got two weeks off. Like nothing on his schedule as per his request. As for you though, you got two days.”

 

Doyoung is surprised that Youngho is in texting terms with Taeil because the small manager is quiet one and he hasn’t seen them talk outside their job. Why does Taeil have to text Youngho about Taeyong’s schedule? “You text Taeil?” Doyoung inquires, a bit curious.

 

Youngho is in the middle of sipping his coffee as he scrolls through their schedule when he coughs at Doyoung’s question, almost spilling the entire content of his paper cup on the make-up artist. He puts down the coffee and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

 

“Are you okay?” Doyoung is worried he got his manager drown on his own coffee.

 

“Yeah, I am.” Youngho coughs some more, eyes and cheeks red which Doyoung finds odd. “I text Taeil to ask about some…. business stuff. He just mentioned about Taeyong’s schedule in passing.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Taeyong just completed a series of shows in LA and New York to promote his album and will get proper rest after a year full of activities. Doyoung is quite excited to see him since they haven’t seen each other for weeks and Taeyong had promised that he would make something for him when he gets back. Doyoung isn’t expecting too much. He knows something might come up even while he is on break. He got his own friends and family to meet. It’s more than enough for him to know that Taeyong will get ample of rest he deserves.

 

It makes his heart jump on his chest when Taeyong shows up on his doorstep a day after he landed. Doyoung is just lounging in his brother’s home, a thing he usually does when he has no schedule. The singer practically bounces and launches himself on him as soon as he opens the door. Doyoung catches him, holding him on his waist to prevent the both of them from falling down.

 

“I miss you!” Taeyong squeals on his ear, arms wrapped tight around his neck. His hair is still a bit damp from shower, tickling Doyoung’s cheek. He can smell the distinct citrus smell of his shampoo.

 

“I miss you, too.” Doyoung says back to him, leaning back a bit to look at Taeyong’s bare face. His skin is smooth, bags evident under his eyes, but he looks happy and well-rested. Doyoung’s heart is really about to leave his body. “You think you could come down so I can close the door?”

 

“Oh! I am sorry I got excited!” Taeyong jumps off Doyoung with a cute grin. Doyoung closes the door and thanks heavens that his brother lives in an apartment complex where people mind their own business.

 

Doyoung asks him to sit on the couch while gets some refreshment. Netflix is on. He is watching some stand-up comedy shows to kill time. He tells Taeyong he can change it to whatever he wants. A few seconds after, he can hear anime intro from the living room.

 

“So, what’s up?” Doyoung puts down two cans of pineapple juice. One warm. One iced. Taeyong doesn’t drink cold stuff that much to protect his throat. He either gives up sweets or cold drinks. Cold drinks is the easier option.

 

Taeyong isn’t interested in the anime he was watching the moment Doyoung comes in the room.“Let’s go to my place.” He is giddy, Doyoung can tell, because he is literally wiggling on his spot and it is so cute. Doyoung wants to pinch him and then squish him so more. “I am gonna cook you dinner.”

 

“Now?” Doyoung open the can for Taeyong before he hands it to him.

 

“Well, yes. We do not have much time because you are gonna start filming again the day after tomorrow.”

 

Doyoung sniffs, liking the way Taeyong is updated about his schedule. “You know about my schedule more than I do.”

 

“It’s.. I.. Well.. I don’t..” Taeyong visibly colors and Doyoung can’t help himself anymore. He leans forward and kisses his small nose.

 

Taeyong is startled, petrified at what Doyoung just did. He only looks at Doyoung, mouth agape and face red more that it was a few seconds ago. He covers his face with his palms when he couldn’t take the way Doyoung is looking at him, screaming his frustrations through his hands.

 

“What?” Doyoung tugs his wrists so he can see his face but Taeyong is resisting. He hides further behind a pillow and kicks Doyoung. He tries to get the pillow from the singer until he succeeds. “What’s the matter.”

 

“You make me shy.” Taeyong pouts. His face is still red and it makes Doyoung want to kiss him more.

 

“Why do I make you shy? I did nothing.”

 

“Stop it!” Taeyong pushes him on his shoulders. “Do not do it again, okay?”

 

“You do not like that I kiss you?”

 

“Stop saying it!!” Another push, this time it’s harder and Doyoung is laughing. He didn’t know teasing Taeyong would be this fun. “Stop laughing!”

 

Doyoung catches his wrists and look straight into his eyes. Taeyong got round brown eyes and a scar right below his right. His eyes travel down to his pointed nose to the bow of his plump pink lips. Taeyong quiets down, looking at where Doyoung was staring at. He gulps, adam’s apple bobs the same time Doyoung lingers on his lips. Absentmindedly, Taeyong swipes his tongue on his lips and Doyoung almost loses it. He wants it. He wants it so bad. But he isn’t sure if that is the right thing to do right now. His body is pushing him to just lean in and taste those damn lips but his mind is telling him to stop and get his head straight.

 

“I am sorry.” Doyoung coughs, letting go of Taeyong’s wrists.

 

“It’s.. uhh.. Fine.” Taeyong straightens up.

 

“So, uh are we still on for that dinner?” Doyoung towers Taeyong to shake off his nervousness, hands on the back pockets of his sweatpants.

 

“Sure. Let’s go when you are ready.”

 

“I am just gonna go get changed.”

 

Doyoung knows he is an idiot.

 

 

+++

 

 

Taeyong sets up a very Korean dinner that Doyoung hasn’t eaten for a while. Living in Paris for a year, he missed authentic home cuisines. Even after coming, there weren’t many occasions that he gets to taste such authenticity, not when he is living with his brother who likes take-out food and can’t even boil an egg properly.

 

There are about 12 side dishes and 3 main dishes on the generous table, all of which Taeyong made and cooked. He offered to help but the smaller insisted on making everything on his own while he pushed Doyoung to continue watching whatever he was watching on Netflix. Dinner is served after two hours. Doyoung thought Taeyong would take longer than that. He is really amazed at the amount of food in front of him. He is already full just by looking.

 

“Can we finish all of these?” Doyoung asks because he knows he can’t.

 

“Do you want to call a friend?”

 

“No! I mean…. I am just… I know you do not eat that much…”

 

“I cooked these for you so you better finish all of this!” Taeyong stirs the kimchijigae on the pot in the middle of the table, looking pointedly at Doyoung. His words do not bite but Doyoung knows how Taeyong will feel if there are leftovers.

 

Doyoung tries his best to finish everything on the table. Everything is really delicious especially the samgyetang. It’s been ages since Doyoung has had that and when he sips the gingered soup for the first time, he hears the angels singing in heaven. The stir-fried sweet and sour squid melts in his mouth instantly, as well as the braised cod fish. Taeyong eats with him while he helps him with shred the pieces of meat into pieces. Doyoung can do it but he allows Taeyong to take care of him as he can see that he enjoys doing it for him, enjoys seeing him enjoy all the food he prepared.

 

“I am done, Taeyong. My stomach is about to explode.” Doyoung whines after his last bite of kimchi. There are still quite a few servings left, maybe two more people can be fed. He is really done for because if he will continue, he won’t be able to move for a week.

 

“Did you like it?”

 

“As you can see,” Doyoung lifts his shirt to show how bloated his tummy is. “Yes, I enjoyed everything you cooked. Thank you for the meal.”

 

Taeyong’s eyes twinkle and even if Doyoung is about to pass out, he smiles at the sight. He thinks he likes it too much when Taeyong is happy. “You go rest for a bit while I make you tea.”

 

“Oh, damn. Thank you! I would really love that.”

 

Doyoung relocates to the couch while he waits for his tea. On the other hand, Taeyong packs all the leftover food in plastic containers. He says he will give them to Taeil and he can share it with Youngho if he wants. Doyoung perks up with that.

 

“Are they friends?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Youngho and Taeil. I haven’t really seen them talk or anything.”

 

Taeyong giggles, putting the packed food inside the fridge. “There are a lot of things you do not know Kim Doyoung.”

 

Doyoung frowns. He hates it when he is left in the dark when obviously he wants to see the light in things. “Like what?”

 

Taeyong comes back with a pot of tea and cup on a tray. He sits beside Doyoung then pours him a cup. “It’s a secret.”

 

“Tell me!” Doyoung demands, taking the cup from Taeyong.

 

“Careful. It’s hot.” Taeyong stands up again to go back to the kitchen. Doyoung offers to wash but knowing Taeyong and his obsession on cleaning, he won’t allow him.

 

He still thinks about Youngho and Taeil even if it is not his business. They could be friends since they work in the same company like him and Taeyong and Youngho is a nice guy. Everyone likes him. Taeil can like him too. Doyoung shakes the idea of their managers out of his head and focuses his attention on the documentary he chose to watch.

 

In the middle of the show, Taeyong comes back. The smaller sighs and rests his head on Doyoung’s shoulder.

 

“Tired?” Doyoung murmurs, putting his arms on his waist and pulls him closer.

 

“Told you to not cook that much.”

 

“I promised I will make you something when I get back.”

 

“I did not ask for a feast.”

 

Taeyong hits him lightly on the chest. Doyoung smirks and pats the other hair with his other hand.

 

“Rest. You did so much today.”

 

“It’s for you so it’s okay.”

 

Doyoung goes ahead and kisses him on the top of his head. Taeyong did not flinch or pushes him away. Maybe he is too tired to resist, Doyoung isn’t sure but the other just melts on his arms, shifting so his face is buried on the crook of Doyoung’s neck. He cradles him until he feels his steady breathing. He can stay this way until tomorrow of for as long as they can. Taeyong’s body relaxes him, his scent is an aroma that soothes his nerves. Doyoung knows. He can feel. It’s clear. But he still doesn’t want to admit.

 

“Are you staying?” Taeyong whispers after moments of silence. Doyoung has long forgotten the show on the TV, preferring to just watch Taeyong’s peaceful face as he naps. He looks up at Doyoung, eyes still heavy with sleep and a small pout on his lips.

 

“What time is it?” Doyoung asks no one in particular. He looks at his phone. It reads 11:17 in the evening.

 

Taeyong buries his face on his neck again and circles his arms on Doyoung’s torso. He isn’t saying anything but Doyoung knows the other wants him to stay.

 

“Let me just call Youngho and Gong Myung.” Doyoung will never ever win against Taeyong’s cuteness.

 

The smaller buries his face further on Doyoung’s neck and leaves a peck there. It tingles, like something electrocuted him. Taeyong hasn’t kissed him anywhere yet. Maybe it is in exchange of the kisses he gave today? But it feels so good. His lips feels so good on his skin, a little chapped but still soft and Doyoung craves for it when it isn’t been a minute since. His hands grips Taeyong’s waist a little tighter to stop himself from dipping down and claiming his lips.

 

“Taeyong?” Doyoung calls. He doesn’t know why.

 

“Hmm?” He hums, looking up at Doyoung. Their faces are just centimeters away from each other. It is so hard for Doyoung to not move and lean in because Taeyong is just there. He looking up at him, lips plump and wet like it is asking to be kissed and licked. Doyoung doesn’t have that much of self-restraint in his body. All of this is Taeyong’s fault because he is so irresistible. He makes it so hard for him to not cross the line because he _really really_ wants to right now.

 

Doyoung shakes his head, closing his eyes to compose himself and have an internal pep talk. He can do this. He can stop this. He leans in and sighs, lips landing on Taeyong’s forehead. He stays there for quite some time. He knows this isn’t enough for the beast in him.

 

He swears inside his head. Doyoung is sure he wants it as well. He is sure Taeyong has been waiting for him to cross the line, to stop hesitating because he won’t push him away. He is sure Taeyong wants to taste his lips too and meld their bodies together. Doyoung can see it in those eyes. The desire. The permission.

 

But Doyoung is a very scared man. He is also stupid.

 

The wall is back. He isn’t ready yet.

 

Doyoung leans down and kisses Taeyong’s forehead. “I am sorry.” He repeats it because he really is. He wants Taeyong, too. God knows how bad he wants to ravish him but he is too afraid of what might happen after. What if he isn’t good enough? What if Taeyong won’t get satisfied? What if he fucks up? It has been too long since he’s been involved with someone. What if he doesn’t know how to do it anymore? What if he ruins it for the both of them?

 

Taeyong circles his arms around his torso, pulling him down and kisses his nose. “It is okay.”

 

“I am sorry.”

 

“It’s fine. We can do it when you’re ready.” Taeyong smiles and Doyoung feels he is not saying it to make him feel better. The singer is saying it because he means it.

 

“But--”

 

“I am okay so do not worry about it too much.” Taeyong assures him, caressing his cheeks softly as he looks at his eyes with lots of fondness. Doyoung is melting and falling quite hardly. “I can wait for you, Doyoung. I am always here.” Taeyong proceeds to rub his back up and down, a gesture he does to calm Doyoung down when he feels extreme emotions. Even though Doyoung cannot see him, he can feel his sincerity. Doyoung really doesn’t deserve him.

 

After everything he’s been through, Doyoung doesn’t know how someone so amazing and precious like Taeyong came to his life. How can he deserve someone like him when he cannot even tell him how he feels? How can Taeyong say he can wait for him when he can get someone better?

 

Doyoung kisses Taeyong on his forehead, thankful that he is in his life and prays he really can wait for him until the day he can tell him he wants him, too.

 

“I am gonna stay. Let’s rest.”

 

“Good. Let’s move to the bedroom?”

 

“Sure.”

 

After taking a shower (Doyoung borrows Taeyong’s clothes. They are all small and Taeyong laughs at him coz everything is slim fit for him), they hit the bed. Doyoung opens his arms for Taeyong, limbs tangled in the the sheets. They converse a little under the dim light of the room. Taeyong tells him that he is composing a new song and will let him hear it once the first draft is finished. Doyoung tells him to keep it easy now that he on vacation and use the remaining days to laze around and do stuff he can’t do when he is promoting. Taeyong pouts again, not liking it when Doyoung scolds him about overworking so he shushes him by kissing him on the cheek. They exchange more kisses after that, mutually liking what they give to each other. They keep it harmless; kisses on the cheek, neck, forehead, hands. If Doyoung was freaking out, he doesn’t show it. His heart won’t calm down until Taeyong is asleep and is sure that his lips won’t make contact on his skin. He looks down at Taeyong one more time. He looks perfect even in the dark and Doyoung knows he is fucked already.

 

_Just this time. I promise, just this time._

 

He repeats it until his brain gets tired. For now, this is enough.

 

 

+++

 

 

NEO Entertainment did not expect such good reception about Doyoung coming back to business. There are still negative reactions about him, mostly about his cold visuals and his comment about celebrities’ privacy. Aside from that, praises and requests are all over the internet and company’s social media channel. It’s a good thing, Doyoung believes. It’s been only five months since he came back but the people have accepted him easily. He thinks Taeyong partly has got to do with it.

 

Taeyong has always been a sweetheart. At first, Doyoung thought he is only like that in front of the public. Most celebrities are like that - nice when there are cameras around but pieces of ass when there are none. Taeyong has kept it real. He treats his fans nicely even on social media, laughs off at his bashers and dedicates his time making music for the people who matter. His staff doesn’t have anything to say bad at him. If anything, most employees in the company want to work with him because they know he takes care care of the people he works with.

 

So, when Taeyong says Doyoung is nice, the whole world will believe.

 

Youngho and Gong Myung even think so, too.

 

“I am not saying use him but your friendship with him is good for you.” Youngho says over breakfast at Gong Myung’s place. They are waiting for the company van to pick them up for their photoshoot schedule for the day. Doyoung’s manager is almost living in their house already. Gong Myung likes him and his humor and might adopt him soon.

 

Doyoung sips a bit of his cold milk from his glass as he thinks about the things he is doing with Taeyong. Sure, they are friends but there is something more to that than they are willing to talk about. It is what makes Doyoung anxious these days. He feels he is letting himself do things that he might just regret when the time comes and he doesn’t want to involve Taeyong once things blow over,

 

“I mean, he obviously likes you a lot that is for sure.” Youngho adds.

 

“Sometimes I wonder why he does.” Doyoung snorts.

 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, bro! Even though managing you is hell, you are nice and you put food on my plate.” Youngho says.

 

“Wow! Thanks for the sincerity.” Doyoung makes sure his manager will catch on the sarcasm.

 

“Seriously, this is the first time I’ve seen Taeyong get close to another celebrity. He is shy most of the time and he doesn’t straight up show interest but when you came, he became so eager and friendly all of a sudden.”

 

“He is just being nice.”

 

“Whatever you say.” Youngho wipes his mouth and checks his phone. Their ride is on the way. “Anyway, management likes what you have and want you guys to continue doing it. Most probably in public. They also want you to make an Instagram or Twitter account. You decide.”

 

Doyoung grunts. He hates social media and sharing things on the internet is like contradicting what he said in that controversial interview. He doesn’t like showing what he does on his spare time and giving people permission to have a say on how he wants to live his life. Internet life isn’t for him.

 

Like reading his mind, Youngho says, “You do not have to post things about your personal life. It will be just like an avenue where fans can be updated about your stuff. And do not worry about managing it, I will be the one handling the account.”

 

It is not like he has the say about this since it is what the company wants so he nods and says yes.

 

 

+++

 

 

Dealing with stalkers is something Doyoung isn’t used to. He’s been a celebrity longer than Taeyong but he hasn’t seen that much people in the airport just for a celebrity or a girls camping out of the company building to wait for their idol. Just like what Youngho told him, being an actor is different from being a singer.

 

“I can drive myself. I do not need Youngho.” Doyoung whines as soon as he enters Taeyong’s home that night. The two managers tailing behind him.

 

It is Taeyong’s idea. Doyoung doesn’t understand why they have to have chaperons now because Taeyong lives in a very private apartment complex in a very posh area in Seoul. Other celebrities live there as well. The security is very strict.

 

Taeyong rubs his arms to calm appease him. “I am just concerned about you.”

 

“Doyoung is very popular now. We need to take care of him.” Youngho teases. He is sitting down on Taeyong’s couch with Taeil. Both managers laughs at that.

 

Doyoung rolls his eyes which makes Taeyong giggle. “Do they really have to be here?”

 

“I promised them dinner.” Taeyong’s tone is apologetic, puppy eyes looking up at him. Doyoung surrenders just by looking at how he pouts.

 

As promised, the two managers leaves after dinner at two bottles of beer. They say they have an early meeting tomorrow morning when Doyoung knows it is just their excuse to bounce early. Additionally, Doyoung is not very subtle about making them feel unwelcomed. Before leaving, he reminds Youngho to not forget to pick him up before he goes to their early meeting if they so very want him out of trouble.

 

“Thank you for dinner.” Doyoung sighs after washing the dishes, stomach full of Taeyong’s delicious cooking yet again. Taeyong lets him clean this time but not before insisting and blackmailing him that he won’t agree on letting Youngho drive him when visiting him the next time if he won’t let him to the chore.

 

“My pleasure.” Taeyong pats his head affectionately once the actor plops down beside him

 

Taeyong shifts, sitting straight facing Doyoung while the actor is leaning lazily on the back of the couch. He turns his head to look at the singer. “Hey, I have something to tell you.”

 

“What is it?”

 

Doyoung sees that Taeyong is hiding both of his hands behind him. He is smiling, showing all of his teeth and eyes sparkling. He looks excited. “Are you free the first Sunday of next month?”

 

“I am not sure.” Doyoung contemplates. “Why?”

 

Taeyong pushes two pieces of paper on his face. Doyoung has to lean back a bit to see what it it. “Please come to my concert!” There is a tinge of red on the smaller’s cheeks. It is too cute for Doyoung’s heart.

 

The singer got only a few days before he gets back to practicing for his upcoming new tour that will kick off in Seoul. After that, he will be all over Asia again to tour and promote his repackaged album that was released a few days ago. Doyoung already got a (signed) copy before it was even out in the market. He isn’t into hiphop but after hearing Taeyong and his voice on one of the new tracks “Baby Don’t Stop”, Doyoung re-evaluates his choices in life and thinks he found a new religion which is Taeyong’s husky voice. It doesn’t help that the music video is too sensual.

 

And now with the idea of seeing Taeyong performing it live in front of his eyes? Doyoung will definitely not say no to that. But kidding and sexual desires aside, Doyoung will not say not to that invitation. He is very honored to be there and watch Taeyong.

 

“Of course, I will be there!” Doyoung takes the tickets from Taeyong’s hands. There are two of them, one for him and one for his brother. He pulls him by the wrists and takes the smaller to his arms. Taeyong hums on his chest and he can feel the smile forming on his face.

 

_Why am I so scared when it feels so right?_

 

Doyoung lets Taeyong lean on his embrace and stay there for as long as he wants. “I also want to tell you something.” Doyoung says while Taeyong draws circles on his palms using his index finger.

 

“What?”

 

“I am looking for a house.”

 

Doyoung’s been looking for quite some time now. He likes living with his brother. Gong Myung is too kind and accommodating but sooner or later, he would want his own privacy and Doyoung couldn’t be living off of him forever. When he got back from Paris, he promised Gong Myung that as soon as he gets back on his feet and has enough resources, he would move out. Doyoung thinks he is ready to be independent now. Plus, he misses having his own space.

 

“Really?” Taeyong looks up at him.

 

“Yeah. Youngho has been helping. We already talked to a real estate agent and visited some units.”

 

Doyoung has visited five homes during his spare time with Youngho. They are all nice, spacious, and quiet. However, he thinks he likes the one with the view of the Han River the most.  It is quite far from Gong Myung’s place but is closer to Taeyong’s. The unit is loft type, with two bedrooms, nice interiors and a spacious kitchen. He already imagines Taeyong doing his thing there, wearing his apron and cooking a meal for them. Youngho has teased him when he told him that he liked it out of all the ones they’ve been to solely because of the kitchen.

 

“What did your brother say?”

 

“He wants me to move out as soon as possible.”

 

Taeyong laughs and Doyoung thinks of how he would smile like the moment he sees the marble kitchen counter. “I am happy for you! Finally, you will have your own place.”

 

“Yeah, Gong Myung can’t be staying at Hye Sung’s place forever if they want some privacy.”

 

“They are a thing????” Taeyong gasps, eyes wide as if it is news to him.

 

“Well, yeah.” Doyoung shrugs. He doesn’t know who are the people his brother dates or if he is in a serious relationship. He saw random girls coming out of the house during the first few weeks of living there. Some were familiar. Some looked like a regular ladies. It stopped after Doyoung accidentally walked in on him and Hye Sung making out by the fridge. They are both good-looking human beings but it wasn’t a pleasant sight for Doyoung.

 

“I mean I do not know if they are exclusive but Gong Myung is seeing her quite regularly these days.” Doyoung explains.

 

“I knew it!!!”

 

“Do you like my brother that much to keep track on his love life?” Doyoung side eyes Taeyong, not exactly amused at how he is invested on his brother’s affairs.

 

“You know I like him! And I like Hye Sung too so this is a big deal for me!!”

 

“Okay fanboy, please tone down your crush for Gong Myung. I am right here, you know.”

 

Taeyong literally wiggles while hugging a pillow. “I can’t wait to see their beautiful kids.” He sighs dreamily, still a smile on his face.

 

“It isn’t even serious--”

 

“Don’t ruin it!”

 

“Gong Myung is not even that handsome.” Doyoung whispers, a slight animosity on his voice.

 

“What did you just say?”

 

“Nothing.” The taller grabs the remote and looks for something to watch on the TV, removing his arms around Taeyong.

 

“Hey!” Taeyong pushes him but Doyoung is busy looking for a nice show that will make him ignore the bad feeling inside his chest.

 

“What????”

 

“Are you jealous?”

 

Doyoung snorts. He is jealous? He is not jealous and even if he is, he won’t admit it.

 

“You are jealous.” Taeyong says, mirth evident on his voice. “I can’t believe you got jealous of your brother.”

 

“I am not jealous.” He doesn’t think he is. He just doesn’t like it when Taeyong fancying another man in front of his face

 

“Don’t be jealous.” Taeyong wraps his arms around Doyoung’s waist and kisses his chin. He forces him to look down at him. Doyoung is very weak when Taeyong gets touchy so he looks down without so much of a fight. “Don’t be jealous.” Taeyong repeats in whisper, an assurance to make Doyoung believe him.

 

“You are way more handsome than Gong Myung.” Taeyong continues. “And he can’t hug me like this.” Taeyong buries his head on Doyoung’s neck which Doyoung learns is his favorite spot. “And I can’t kiss him like this.” He kisses him wetly and dangerously on his collarbone.

 

Sirens are off again and Doyoung panics. He wants to take down the wall he has built between him and Taeyong. Taeyong is testing him, pushing him to his limits and he wants to surrender. Taeyong’s sinful lips makes him want to push down the smaller and just take him without warning.

 

Taeyong looks up at him with hooded eyes and wet lips. Doyoung’s restraint crumbles with that and pushes Taeyong back on the couch and hovers on top of him. He bites his neck while he grinds down on him, making Taeyong moan in pleasure. His tongue tastes more of Taeyong’s skin, pushing his shirt up to have access on his clavicles, lapping and biting as he pleases. Taeyong opens his legs and Doyoung willingly slots himself between them to get more friction, to feel more of Taeyong.

 

“I want you.” Taeyong whines, reaching for Doyoung’s belt. Doyoung pushes himself up, balancing his weight on his elbows, to look at Taeyong. He is breathing heavily, bare chest rising and falling in every breath he takes. The skin of his neck down to his pecs is wet from Doyoung’s saliva, his hair’s a mess, his face reflects lust. Taeyong looks beautiful like this.

 

Doyoung is so done stopping himself, so done of denying himself from something so beautiful that he could easily claim as his. The whole world already knows how he wants Taeyong and how Taeyong wants him, too. It is just a matter of time before he would tear down the walls and cross the bridge. And Doyoung thinks and feels now is that time.

 

“I want you, too.” Doyoun answers in whisper. He leans down to brush their slicked lips against each other. Just the feel of it sends Doyoung over the edge, something in him already short-circuits. He is losing his mind just with the thought of properly bruising Taeyong’s lips.

 

Taeyong closes his eyes with wide grin on his face. He looks genuinely elated and when he looks back at Doyoung, he can see the satisfaction. Taeyong bites his lower lips. “I am really happy to finally hear that.”

 

“You’re waiting?”

 

“Yes. For a long time, actually.” The singer shifts, aligning their faces as he puts his hands at Doyoung’s nape so he can pull him down without much effort. “Now, please kiss me properly.”

 

Finally, Doyoung does. No more hesitations. No more overthinking. He leans down and finally claims those lips that he wanted for so long. Taeyong sighs contentedly when their lips meet, immediately opening up to let Doyoung’s tongue explore more of him. The taller dives in, painting Taeyong’s mouth with his saliva, tasting every corner his tongue can reach. He tastes the chocolate chip cookie he has eaten for dessert, sweet just like what Doyoung has always imagined.

 

They part a moment to breathe. Taeyong is catching his breath, still holding onto Doyoung’s nape like he will disappear if he lets go. “Been waiting for so long for that.”

 

“Me too.” Doyoung tucks a stray hair behind the smaller’s ears.

 

Doyoung lets his hand find Taeyong’s thigh and squeeze it a bit, feeling the hard muscle on it. Taeyong gasps and he takes it as an opportunity to kiss him again, shoving his tongue in Taeyong’s mouth to get things a little rougher.

 

Taeyong gives him multiple pecks before he tugs on his lower lip.  “You are worth the wait, Doyoung".

 

+++

 

 

As a manager, Youngho is a bad influence. Doyoung regrets the day he opens up to him about his worries and allows him a bit of access to his feelings because he takes advantage of it.

 

“Are you fucking serious?? CEO Lee will kill us before after Secretary Park gets his turn to kill us.” Doyoung screams at Youngho in the car.

 

They are on their way to the airport because apparently Youngho booked them flight tickets to Taiwan to watch Taeyong’s concert. It is isn’t even a solo concert. It is just a music fest by Show Champion. Other artists will be there along with Taeyong. Doyoung has no schedule for the week and he cannot believe Youngho took his precious time to think about dangerous stunts like flying to another country to watch a freaking concert. His manager woke him up early this morning, saying they have a last minute schedule to attend to. Trusting Youngho, Doyoung got up and got ready for the day. He did not ask why there were two luggages by the door and just hopped on the van. He even told his brother that he would see him later before he left the house

 

“Thank me later after your date.” Youngho says, dismissing Doyoung.

 

Doyoung’s phone vibrates and a message from his brother pops up

 

**Gong Myung:** Have fun! See you in two days! ^_^

 

Doyoung wants to kill himself after he kills Youngho before Secretary Park does it to the both of them. “Does my brother know?”

 

“Yes. I told him last night.” Youngho replies like it is a normal thing to get on a plane to follow someone and risk both of your careers. “We are here! Let’s go! Wear this.” Youngho tosses him a black cap and black mask in case reporters are around.

 

Doyoung drags himself off the van and braces himself for cameras pointed at his face. To his surprise, the walk from the check-in to immigration goes smoothly because there are three other idol groups in the airport. Youngho guides him through the crowd so they can blend in and by the time they are inside the boarding area, Doyoung can already breathe.

 

“I will kill you.” Doyoung mutters for the nth time in the last two hours once they are already seated on the plane. “I swear I will kill you.”

 

Youngho puts in his earphones, smirks at him before ignoring Doyoung the rest of the flight.

 

There is a van waiting for them once they have landed. Doyoung doesn;t ask anymore and let Youngho transport him to the place he had planned to take him.The two hour flight did not exhaust Doyoung that much. It was the worrying of being caught that stressed him out. He doesn’t know if Taiwan knows who he is or if they care enough about Taeyong secretly seeing a man in there. He doesn’t even know if Taeyong has any idea about this.

 

“Are you hungry?” Youngho asks after making a phone call. Probably Taeil, informing the other manager that they have arrived in the country and currently on transit to their accomodation.

 

According to what Youngho have explained to him, Taeil found a private hot spring resort near the mountains. It is a secluded place, perfect for those who wanted to detach themselves from the busy metropolis. It sounded nice since Doyoung hasn’t been to a hot spring in long time but it doesn’t eliminate the fact that he is bothered.

 

Being in a secret relationship, it is hard for the both of them to go out and date like normal people. Taeyong is too popular and the whole company can’t afford to have their biggest artist to be involved in a dating scandal with none other than the prodigal son of Korea. Doyoung knows and understands their situation. Taeyong always tells him that he wants to go to the movies with him, ride a couple bike at Han River with him, walk in a park hand in hand at night with him, eat at a nice restaurant after a long day with him.. The list goes on. But all they could do is spend nights together in each other’s apartments and watch netflix until they fall asleep.

 

Taeyong wants to do a lot of things and Doyoung wants to make it happen for him but they can’t. It is not going to be easy for them. Especially for Taeyong.

 

“Not really.” He sighs.

 

“You haven’t eaten breakfast. It is already almost lunch.” Youngho says. ‘We will eat before we go to the resort.”

 

They stop by a small authentic local restaurant on the way. You can never go wrong with dimsum and some hot noodles and even though Taiwan in June is scorching, Doyoung eats the food eagerly.

 

After a few more minutes on the road, they finally reach their destination. Youngho talks to the reception, confirming their reservation while Doyoung sits on the cushioned sofa in the lobby. The whole place speaks Japanese and Doyoung is reminded of the hot spring resort he went to a few years back in Japan. It has wooden interiors to make the guests have the pure nature experience. There are pavilions outside where you can relax under the trees and accompanied by the sound of the flowing stream in the middle.

 

Doyoung doesn’t see a lot of guests aside from the western couple on their way to the public hot spring. They are greeted by the staff and escorted promptly to the spring.

 

“Let’s go?” Youngo calls him from the reception, hotel cards and their luggages in tow.

 

He follows his manager and a lady staff up to their room. There are no elevators since the place is small, only 5 rooms available. Doyoung wonders how Youngho and Taeil managed to get two rooms for them. The lady opens the door to let them all in. She reminds them about house rules a bit which Doyoung tunes out before she leaves them to their devices. Youngho places their luggages in the closet and dives down to the long sofa in front of the flat screen TV. He reaches for the remote and eats the complimentary fruits on the table while watching.

 

There are some minor changes in their plans. Doyoung won’t be attending the concert anymore since it is too risky to be seen by a lot of people. Youngho checks the internet and so far, there aren’t any posts about Doyoung’s whereabouts. They have to keep it that way and since Secretary Park hasn’t contacted them yet, they are still safe. Taeil will drop Taeyong after the concert to the resort and then Youngho will go with Taeil to their hotel. Both managers will pick them up tomorrow afternoon and will fly out in separate flights. Doyoung will leave first while Taeyong will stay for a few more hours for an “impromptu” radio interview. It isn’t included in the contract but Taeil said yes to the invitation for damage control.

 

Everything seemed well planned. Doyoung calms down a bit after learning their itinerary. It’s feasible and there is a privacy clause in the resort so they are sure no one will find them there. Youngho tells him that he can rest for the meantime while waiting for Taeyong.

 

“For once, stop worrying and just rest.” Youngho tells him and Doyoung did just that.

 

+++

 

Taeyong arrives a few minutes after midnight. Doyoung is almost dying waiting for him and worrying that there might be glitches on his way. He didn’t send the singer a single message all day for him to focus on his performance for the night. Taeil carries a duffle bag of Taeyong’s essentials and hands it to Youngho when they enter the room. Doyoung is still in bed when they come in and Taeyong immediately runs to him to give him a kiss.

 

“We will leave you two love birds now. Please stay out of trouble and do not leave this room until we arrive tomorrow.” Taeil says in a stern voice. Youngho already on his feet with his luggage. “I am putting my job and Taeyong’s career on the line for this stupid idea so do not screw up.” The small manager looks up at Youngho with a glare on his face before he walks out the door.

 

“Please behave. I do not want Taeil to kill me.” Youngho tells Doyoung. “Have fun, though!” The last statement is directed to the both of them,

 

Taeyong is still in his black hoodies and ripped jeans while Doyoung is already in his pajamas ready for sleep. If the smaller is tired, he doesn’t look like it because he is bouncing in bed like it is the first time he has been to a private resort. There is a twinkle in his eyes as it roam around the room. He takes a liking to the glass window beside the bed overlooking the mountains and mentions how he wants to have wooden floor in his house too because it looks and feels cozy. Doyoung stands up at the bed and watches how Taeyong fits the king size bed even if he is small.

 

“You haven’t seen the tub.” Doyoung says, pulling Taeyong closer to kiss his lips. The smaller melts in his arms and allows him to kiss him harder.

 

When his lips are thoroughly kissed, Taeyong pulls away. “There is a tub?” The singer jumps excitedly out of bed to go to the bathroom where the tub is located. Doyoung follows him there.

 

The room has a marble hot spring tub and a separate shower. The ceiling above the tub is glass so you can see moon outside at night and the sun shines through at day. There is also a tall glass window to complete the view. Doyoung gives it to Taeil and Youngho for finding such a nice place like this.

 

“Wow,” Taeyong exclaims. “Have you tried the tub?”

 

Doyoung shakes his head, walking closer to where the singer is standing to circle his arms around his waist. He smells his neck before he kisses it. “No. I wanted to try it with you.” And, really, what is the point of all of this if Doyoung won’t do it with Taeyong? Taeyong giggles at that.

 

Automatically, room service comes a few minutes later to serve them sweets and wine. Perhaps Taeil had already prepared the meals that they will have as they were told to not leave the room until they arrive the following day. Taeyong devours the triple chocolate cake while Doyoung opens the wine. The singer is a light drinker and they prefer they are both sober for tonight.

 

“Are you done with your wine?” Taeyong calls from the bathroom. His head is peeking from the door, hair in disarray and torso bare. “I am gonna go change first then you can follow me in the tub? Or are you tired you want to sleep now?”

 

Three glasses of wine and Doyoung thinks he has enough courage to do this. He hasn’t done this with Taeyong. They haven’t done more than kissing yet but now they are gonna go skinny dipping in a private villa. Doyoung isn’t expecting anything, doesn’t want to force Taeyong into doing anything he will regret later.

 

“Yeah. I will be there in a sec.” Doyoung answers.

 

He comes in and sees Taeyong already in the water. The lights are already dimmed, blinds open for Taeyong to observe the surroundings outside. Doyoung gulps when his eyes landed on the dips of Taeyong’s clavicles and the expanse of his smooth chest. He has seen him topless before, has kissed and tasted that bare chest multiple times. But this atmosphere does something to Doyoung. It doesn’nt help that Taeyong is still wearing a silver dog tag necklace that extremely turns Doyoung on. He is about to go insane.

 

“You are here.” Taeyong greets him with an innocent smile. “Come! The water is warm. I do not know if you like it hot or cold so I just set it in the middle.”

 

Doyoung discards his robe and gets in the water. He notices how Taeyong tries to keep his cool, looking away as soon as the clothing falls off his body. The singer only looks at him (only for a split second!) when he is already submerged in the water but a tinge of red is clearly evident on his cheeks. Maybe it is just the wine that makes Doyoung less conscious and a bit more daring about being bare in front of Taeyong.

 

“Hi.” Doyoung says as he settles in front of the smaller.

 

“Hello.” He greets back, voice breaking. It is the first time he has seen Taeyong shy like this. The other cannot look straight at him. He keeps his gaze at the ceiling, anywhere except on Doyoung’s face.

 

Doyoung takes his hands to calm Taeyong’s nerves. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah.” He says bashfully, looking at their intertwined fingers. “I am just… I do not know. You make me nervous.”

 

“I make you nervous? How?” Doyoung rubs his thumb on Taeyong’s.

 

Taeyong finally looks up at him and gives him a small smile. Taeyong kisses his chin and tells him he is happy that he is here with him and that they are doing this together. He admits that he was the one who saw this villa online while looking up the things to do in Taipei. He just mentioned it to Taeil in passing but his manager told him that he is willing to get them a reservation since Youngho told him that Doyoung got some free days off for the week.

 

“I didn’t know they will actually do it.” Taeyong confesses. “I just told Taeil it would be nice if I could go here with you. The following day he said Youngho had booked everything already.”

 

“Youngho is a crazy person. I am surprised he got Taeil to agree with this.”

 

Taeyong shrugs, turning around so he can lean on Doyoung’s chest. Doyoung gladly pulled him in, wrapping his arms around Taeyong’s waist and putting his chin on top of his shoulder. Finally the smaller relaxes. “Taeil says he hates Youngho’s guts but he always talks about him.”

 

Doyoung laughs. It is the same with Youngho. He keeps on saying that Taeil is so uptight but there is never a day when he do not mention his name. “They are both weird. I hope they end up together someday.”

 

“Isn’t Youngho straight?”

 

The taller snorts. “He is as straight as a spaghetti.”

 

“I thank him, though, for bringing you here with me.” Taeyong kisses his cheeks and gives him a quick peck on his lips

 

As payment, Doyoung moves to kiss Taeyong on the side of his neck, the singer tilting his head to give him more access. Taeyong’s skin is soft on that spot and still reeking of his signature sandalwood perfume. Doyoung takes his time to taste him, getting more eager when Taeyong starts moaning and reaches the top of his head to pull on his air. Doyoung’s hand travels from his chest down to his thighs. Taeyong’s muscles stiffens at every touch, moaning louder when Doyoung begins to bite.

 

Suddenly, the room gets hotter and Doyoung starts to feel Taeyong grinding back at his hardening cock. The sensation is makes him bite harder on the other’s skin while he lifts Taeyong to properly sit on his lap. Doyoung couldn’t help but release a groan when he feels Taeyong’s ass rub at his cock hard. He watches while the singer arches his back and moves back to meet his thrusts.

 

“God,” Doyoung groans. He pinches one of Taeyong’s nipples which made the singer squeal.

 

“Doyoung.” Taeyong whines, tilting his head to look at him. He is begging more for Doyoung, hips moving back and forth to get more friction from Doyoung’s cock. He looks wrecked and Doyoung wants to see more of it.

 

Doyoung manoeuvres Taeyong by the waist so he is now straddling him. Taeyong circles his arms around his neck and breathes heavily whilst he continues grinding down on him. His mouth agape and Doyoung can feel Taeyong’s hard cock hitting his stomach. Doyoung caresses his face, forcing him to look straight at him. Taeyong’s eyes is defocused, evidently clouded with lust.

 

Doyoung latches on his jaw, guiding Taeyong’s hips to keep their movements in sync “You are so beautiful.”

 

Taeyong’s body is pliant, submitting to every Doyoung’s ministrations. He lets Doyoung’s hand explore every inch of his skin. He reacts positively at Doyoung’s every touch, moaning deliciously for Doyoung.

 

The actor’s cock is dangerously on the edge and he doesn’t want to finish just like that. He kisses Taeyong on his mouth before he stands up and carries the singer on his arms, Taeyong’s legs wrapping around Doyoung’s waist. The taller walks them back to the bedroom, not allowing Taeyong’s lips to leave his. He drops their soaked bodies on the bed, placing himself on top of Taeyong to continue kissing the smaller hard on the lips. Taeyong arches his back up to meet Doyoung’s chest, wet skin seamlessly rubbing against each other. Taeyong is aggressively chasing his mouth, biting Doyoung’s lower lip and pulls it when he catches. Doyoung is firing up with desire. He wants to take all of Taeyong and ravish his whole body.

 

Doyoung flips the smaller in one quick move, Taeyong’s back against his chest as he started kissing the back of his neck. His hold on his waist tightened to pull him closer. His hands traveled down on Taeyong’s thighs, testing the water if Taeyong would protest. When he doesn’t do anything, he moves to his inner thighs while he licks his earlobe which earns him a loud moan from Taeyong. Doyoung turns Taeyong around to face him again, kissing him on his mouth with more force than the usual. Taeyong responds with passion as well, enveloping his arms around Doyoung’s neck to deepen the kiss. Their tongues begin acting on their own, taking their turns on dominating as they taste each other.

 

Doyoung hovers back on top of Taeyong, his hand found its way to play with the singer’s nipple while he kisses his neck. He is drowning in Taeyong’s familiar citrusy aroma. He gets so turned on just by hearing Taeyong’s soft moans as he continues to abuse his pert nubs repeatedly.. He backs away from the kiss for a moment to admire the beauty underneath him. Taeyong looks already wrecked, eyes defocused and lips slicked with saliva. His damp red hair splays beautifully on the white sheets. His mouth is agape, hungry for Doyoung’s kisses. Doyoung has been in many relationships before, serious or not. But he has never been so enamored for a person like this. He isn’t sure if this is deep or Taeyong is just so beautiful that he takes him in a trance. All he knows is his heart gets full whenever he looks at Taeyong that he is afraid it would explode in his chest.

 

“Why?” Taeyong whispers, touching his cheeks with his palm. His hand is soft and he leans automatically on his touch.

 

“I just..” Doyoung pauses. He doesn’t know what to say, what he feels at this moment. Taeyong is too much for him. “I just think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

 

Taeyong giggles, lifting his head up to give Doyoung a peck on his lips. “Clearly, you haven’t seen yourself.”

 

“I am serious.”

 

Doyoung is looking at him intently, studying how the moonlight outlines the strokes of his muscles that makes him look extra gorgeous than he already is. Even if it dark in the room, Doyoung still could see the lust and desire on his eyes.

 

“You know I never lie to you,” Taeyong looks through his eyes.

 

They have never been this intimate before and Doyoung has to give it to Taeyong for being understanding and patient with him especially on the many times he has left him hanging. He never forced him into doing it or never got disappointed whenever Doyoung stops him right before they even start.

 

However that night, Doyoung has no plans to stop. Doyoung can tell that he is making Taeyong feel good, if his breathy moans and rough kisses are any indications. He likes how Doyoung put his numbs in his mouth, sucking them both separately until they are both hard; how he allows Doyoung to make his way down on his body to give attention to his hard cock using his mouth. Doyoung doesn’t expect a lot of things but seeing Taeyong in ecstasy with the things he does to him that he almost lost himself in the process is a great assurance that he isn’t the only one liking this. Taeyong’s mewls gets louder and his grip on Doyoung's locks gets tighter.

 

Taeyong is writhing under his touch as he continue sucking on the tip of his cock. He can taste the pre-come on his tongue and loving the way Taeyong is trying to push more of his length in his mouth. He keeps him in place by holding him on his hips, to keep him on edge and wanting. Doyoung keeps his slow pace until Taeyong is practically begging for him.

 

“Doyoung,” He calls, voice cracking. “Doyoung please stop.”

 

“You want me to stop?” Doyoung gives him a long lick on his length,

 

“Stop being a dick and do it already.”

 

Doyoung smirks. _He can be snarky when he gets impatient_ , he thinks.

 

“How do you want it?” He asks out of courtesy.

 

“I want you in me. Fast.”

 

Doyoung doesn’t say no to that. He goes back down to give him one last suck before he gets off the bed to look for something similar to a lube. Taeyong says he doesn’t have any because he didn’t think they would actually do this here. Doyoung as well. All he could find in the bathroom is a small bottle of oil. Good thing he carries a pack of condom in his wallet out of habit.

 

Doyoung massages Taeyong’s thighs as he tells Taeyong to relax. He slicks his fingers with enough oil to make the glide in smooth, to make it less uncomfortable for Taeyong. The first finger is easy. Doyoung thrusts his index finger in and out to get Taeyong used to it. The second finger is a bit of a challenge. Taeyong cries a bit when Doyoung puts his middle finger with his index and pumps them in and out of the singer. Taeyong fists the sheets but tells Doyoung to keep going. Taeyong opens his legs wider and moans louder. Eventually, he is riding on Doyoung’s fingers and starts touching himself.

 

“I am ready for you now.” Taeyong exhales, his own cock still in his hand. It looks so filthy but it just fuels Doyoung to wreck him further.

 

He goes back to kiss his lips more messily and hurriedly. He is is moaning in the kiss as he wraps his legs around Doyoung’s waist. Doyoung could not wait any longer, positioning himself to enter Taeyong.

 

He begins slowly, making Taeyong adjust on his size. He kisses the smaller sweetly to ease his pain. Taeyong calls his name every time he increases his pace, grip tight on his arms. Doyoung can’t stop himself from going a little deeper and faster when Taeyong moans his name and eggs him on. He thinks is addicted to his warmth and tightness. Taeyong is pliant and submits to his every ministrations. He lets Doyoung use his body the way he wants, Doyoung easily flipping him and ordering him to get on his knees. He fucks into him mercilessly as Taeyong screams his name as his face falls on the bed. His grunts and soft whimpers becomes music to his ears, a symphony he will never get tired of listening.

 

Doyoung pulls out momentarily, pushing Taeyong on his back. He open’s Taeyong’s legs, holding both of his  inner thighs apart so he can have more access, so he can go deeper and harder in to him and then enter him again. Taeyong is helpless, mouth agape moaning shamelessly and sweat covering his body. Doyoung swears he could almost reach heaven in a minute just by seeing Taeyong's precious bedroom expressions.

 

Just when Doyoung thought they would be over soon, Taeyong stops him and pushes him down on the mattress. The actor is not expecting that and he absolutely doesn’t not want Taeyong to do it just to please him.

 

“Babe, you don't have to.” Doyoung says looking up at Taeyong now straddling him.

 

“I want to. Do not worry.” Taeyong smiles, leaning down to kiss his neck sensually, intentionally hitting his sensitive spot for him not to say no.

 

Doyoung lets Taeyong sink down on his cock, supporting him by holding his waist. Taeyong doesn’t move right away when he is fully seated and filled to the brim. He kisses Doyoung again before he sits up and thrusts forward. Doyoung arches his back and grunts loudly as Taeyong rocks the both of them to orgasm.

 

“Doyoung, ahh--” Taeyong moans. His eyes are closed, bouncing up and down on Doyoung’s lap and Doyoung thinks this is his favorite sight of the night. “Touch me, please.”

Taeyong continues to the ride him insanely as he takes the smaller’s cock in his hand and strokes it fast just like the way he rides him. Doyoung is getting close. He sits up to meet Taeyong’s lips, circling his arms around the singer’s waist to keep him close to him, at the same time, to support his hips. He bites on Taeyong’s neck harshly while their bodies dance together to the tune of their moans.

 

Taeyong increases his pace when he feels that they are both near their climax. Doyoung moves in unison with him, continuing to stroke his leaking cock. The room is filled with pleas, moans, groans, curses, cries, and kisses. Taeyong comes on Doyoung’s hand first, shooting his come on Doyoung’s stomach and then not too long, Doyoung follows after a few more thrusts. Taeyong collapses on Doyoung’s shoulders, panting from his high. Doyoung doesn’t pull out yet, not minding if they are gross and sticky. He wants Taeyong in his arms, wants to stay like that a little longer.

 

After a few minutes, Doyoung leaves the bed to throw his used condom and gets tissue to wipe off Taeyong’s come on their stomachs. Shower is out of the question because Taeyong’s already so exhausted, refusing to move anymore. So, Doyoung drapes their naked bodies with the blanket as soon as he lays back in bed. Taeyong snuggles on his chest, doodling random lines on it while Doyoung plays on his hair. They are both silent for a while before Taeyong speaks.

 

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Taeyong whispers.

 

Doyoung doesn’t know what to say back or if should say anything at all. He can hear what the sound of his heart is telling him but he doesn’t have the courage to put it into words. He could only kiss Taeyong and hopes it is enough to let him know how he feels.

 

+++

 

Doyoung wakes up with an empty bed. He sits up, eyes still adjusting from the sunlight coming in from the tall glass window and bare chest exposed as the blanket pools on his waist. Taeyong’s side is already cold and his slippers are nowhere to be found. Still a bit disoriented, he stands up, picking up the first boxer he sees from the floor and wears it without minding if it is his or Taeyong’s.

 

“Taeyong?” he calls but there’s no response. He open the bathroom door, hoping the smaller is there taking an early morning shower since they did not bother cleaning last night. To his disappointment, Taeyong is also not there. Doyoung tries calling him but finds that he left his phone in the room.

 

Before he could call Taeil and Youngho, Taeyong comes in wearing his blue pajamas from last night, sleeves and pants too long that it looks like the clothing is swallowing his petite figure. He looks extremely adorable in large clothes, Doyoung’s large clothes. Doyoung’s heart skip a bit at that sight and he couldn’t help but feel happy emotions just by staring at the smaller. All his worries magically faded.

 

“You are awake.” Taeyong smiles at him, walking to where he is standing in the middle of the room. Doyoung reaches for the smaller and pulls him close, wrapping his arms around his waist and dips his head to claim his lips. He doesn't care if he has morning breath. Taeyong doesn’t mind too as he kisses him back sweetly.

 

“I was looking for you. I thought you ditched me.” Doyoung pouts after they kiss, loving Taeyong’s warmth against his bare skin.

 

Taeyong kisses his nose, giggling at his childishness. “I took a walk and snapped some pictures outside. I can’t just let this vacation end without getting a souvenir.”

 

“I already gave you a souvenir.” Doyoung grins and kisses one of the hickeys he gave Taeyong on his chest last night. The smaller playfully pushes him away.

 

Taeyong tells him to dress up as their breakfast is gonna be served soon and he wants to take a walk with him before Taeil and Youngho pick them up. Doyoung indulges him, holding his hand while they stroll around the mountainous area of the resort. Taeyong takes more pictures of the view, selfies, selfies of them together, and of Doyoung. Doyoung takes some of Taeyong too. Mostly stolen ones.

 

“I hope this day won’t ever end.” Taeyong mutters while they are sitting at a bench under a small tree. It’s almost ten in the morning, sun high up in the sky and it’s getting hotter the more they spend outside. Doyoung lets Taeyong lean on him and ignore how the heat of the sun burns their skin, both savoring the remaining time they have before they go back hiding from the real world.

 

“Me too.” Doyoung agrees, kissing the top Taeyong’s head that is on his shoulder.

 

“I wish we never have to hide.”

 

“You know we can’t.”

 

Taeyong sits up straight and looks at Doyoung. The singer frowns and it breaks Doyoung’s heart to see him disappointed. They have no say about this. They can’t really do anything about their relationship unless they tell it to the higher ups and let them think of a solution or a plan on how to break it to the public. Doyoung would never do something to ruin both of them, especially Taeyong, He knows how it feels to be judged and neglected. He doesn’t want Taeyong to experience it because of him.

 

“Taeyong,” Doyoung takes the other’s hand in his. “I thought we already agreed on this.”

 

They did. They already talked about it and Taeyong has accepted Doyoung’s suggestion that they keep whatever they have a secret for now. They would have to tell eventually. Just not now when Taeyong is in the peak of his career and Doyoung is getting back again. They would once nothing is on the line.

 

“I don’t want to hide the person making me happy. I want the whole world to see how you inspire me.” The singer squeezes his hand. Doyoung wishes he could be as honest and expressive as him.

 

Doyoung kisses his lips gently. He didn’t expect that their little vacation would end with Taeyong worrying about what would happen after. They should be making most of the remaining minutes they have. Doyoung wants Taeyong to have a good memory of this day because he doesn’t know when they can do this again.

 

“Everything will be okay. As long as I have you, everything will be okay.” Doyoung says and Taeyong relaxes at that.

 

Taeil and Youngho arrive right on time. Doyoung is still in the shower while their managers fix their things. Taeil talk to the reception one last time to remind them about their agreement before they leave. Taeyong is quiet on their ride back to the city. He clings on Doyoung at the back of the van the entire time, holding his hand and kisses his neck every now and then. Doyoung knows there is something bothering him so he entertains him by showing videos of cute dogs in the internet. When it’s time for them to part, Doyoung kisses him deeply and promises to see him as soon as he lands in Seoul.

 

Doyoung texts Taeyong before they board. He wants to make sure Taeyong is alright. He must be waiting for his radio guesting to start and a little encouragement could help to get him pumped up,

 

**Doyoung [2:07pm]:** I will see you tomorrow, okay?

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:08pm]:** Alright. Are you in the airport now?

 

**Doyoung [2:08pm]:** Yes. Youngho is stressed coz some fans saw us.

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:08pm]:** Are you okay?

**Doyoung [2:09pm]:** Yes. They aren’t many compared to your stalkers haha. We will be alright (=^·^=)

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:10pm]:** Stop it! Take care on your way ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

**Doyoung [2:10pm]:** I will. You, too.

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:12pm]:** Doyoung.

 

**Doyoung** **[2:12pm]** : Hmmm?

 

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:13pm]** : I…

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:13pm]** : uhmm

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:13pm]** : I wanna tell you something

 

**Doyoung** **[2:14pm]** : What is it?

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:17pm]:** I

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:17pm]:** ….

**Puppy** ♥ **[2:17pm]:** I miss you already ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

**Doyoung [2:19pm]:** (*^3^)/~☆

 

**Doyoung [2:19pm]:** You can kiss me again when you get back

 

**Doyoung [2:20pm]:** We are going now. Take care, baby ♥♥

 

 

+++

 

 

Doyoung has finalized his purchase of the house he wanted. He meets the agent with Youngho to pay for the place and sign the necessary documents needed. He still can’t pay it full in cash and Gong Myung says it is okay. The terms is great and with how his career is going, he can settle everything in no time.

 

The unit is bare, still lots of things to do and furniture to buy so that it can be livable. He thanks his brother’s connections and Jaehyun’s designer friends who are willing to come together to work on the design of the house. Doyoung meets with them on his free time, most of the time in Gong Myung’s house. Taeyong doesn’t know anything about it yet. He wants to surprise him when it’s all finished.

 

“Are you cheating on me?” Taeyong says over the phone, toned irritated and accusing. It is two in the morning and Doyoung is on his way home after a filming. He is surprised (and worried) that Taeyong is still awake. He should be resting by now since he has rehearsals all day for his upcoming concert.

 

Doyoung snorts. He could say yes just to make fun of his boyfriend but knowing Taeyong, it would affect his mood the following day and he could not sleep because he would be thinking about it. Doyoung is not that mean to do that. “Baby, I am just busy. You can ask Taeil. He knows Youngho’s schedule which is also my schedule.”

 

“I haven’t seen you for eight days. I miss you.” Taeyong whines, voice changes from accusing to needy. Doyoung thinks it’s cute. He likes clingy Taeyong aside from horny Taeyong.

 

“I miss you, too.” Doyoung replies. “I am sorry I haven’t dropped by in a while. I promise to see you tomorrow.”

 

“I can’t tomorrow. I have dinner with sponsors.”

 

“I will let Youngho arrange something for us before the concert. Sounds good?”

 

The concert is in a week and after that, Taeyong will be flying again for the tour. Doyoung isn’t sure how long he will abroad but according Youngho, usually Taeyong stays in Japan for a month when he is promoting and a few weeks in the US for a series of shows. They have to meet because it will take long before they can see each other again.

 

“Okay.” Taeyong agrees, yawning. “But I still want to see you now. I just miss you so much.”

 

“You need to sleep, Taeyong. Don’t be stubborn.” Doyoung says gently. He misses the singer, too but he is also really exhausted from a long day of filming. Youngho will kill him if he would sneak out just to see his boyfriend.

 

Doyoung hears something in the other line. Is it a moan? Did Taeyong really moaned over the phone? “Taeyong?”

 

The other doesn’t speak. He hears rustling of sheets and then the line goes dead. Taeyong hums in his sleep so Doyoung thinks maybe he falls asleep while talking. Youngho drops him off to Gong Myung’s house and leaves immediately. His manager needs his rest as well.

 

When Doyoung is about to change, Taeyong calls him again. This time it’s a video call. He answers it, putting down the boxers on the bed he got from his drawer. He gulps when he sees a topless Taeyong on screen. The other is panting while looking directly at Doyoung.

 

“Taeyong? What’s happening?” Doyoung inquires, half worried about his boyfriend.

 

“Doyoung..” He moans. Again. And Doyoung doesn’t want to think about what the things Taeyong is doing to himself right now. He doesn’t want to ask where his other hand is. Taeyong calls for his name again as the video shakes. “Come here. I can’t-- uhh.”

 

Doyoung is conflicted if he is gonna run to Taeyong’s place or just suggest phone sex with him. Taeyong bites his lips, teasing Doyoung more. Doyoung grunts and curses. He is gonna pay for his weakness for Taeyong one day. He hates Taeyong for doing this to him but he grabs his keys and runs fast to the basement parking.

 

It takes him only ten minutes to reach Taeyong’s place, another three minutes to actually get into his unit and see him all naked for him. Taeyong has the audacity to smirk at him when he arrives and it pisses Doyoung off to know that he planned this and knows he would run to him when he uses his body as bait.

 

“You really came.” Taeyong grins, not one bit shy that his cock was splayed on his stomach and clear for Doyoung to see,

 

“I hate you.”

 

They do not waste time and get on with it. If they are both tired, it doesn’t show with the way their bodies move against each other. Doyoung misses Taeyong this much, too. He kisses him, devours him, worships his body the way he knows the other likes but with a bit of force. It’s all fast, rough, and dirty. They are against time and Doyoung was dying to come the moment he entered Taeyong.

 

Once they are done, Doyoung dresses up. He needs to go home and Taeyong needs rest more than him.

 

“Where are you going?” Taeyong asks, surprised that Doyoung is leaving.

 

“Home. I told you, you need to rest.” Doyoung is buttoning his pants, still shirtless.

 

“I want to rest with you.”

 

Doyoung laughs. “You won’t rest when I am here. You will only try to convince me for another round.”

 

Taeyong pouts at that because he knows it’s true. “Can I walk you to your car?”

 

Doyoung puts on his jacket, scowling when he notices that this one doesn’t have a hood. He should really put extra clothes in his car next time just in case Taeyong calls him again like this. “It’s late.”

 

“Please.” Taeyong does his best puppy eyes he can do because he knows Doyoung can’t resist it. He knows Doyoung too well.

 

“Okay. But wear something to hide your face. There might be people watching.”

 

“It's three in the morning. No one will see us.”

 

“I just wanna make sure so just do it.”

 

Taeyong rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine.”

 

As expected, the basement parking is deserted. Taeyong keeps on saying I told you so and puts down the hood of his jacket and holds Doyoung’s hand. They take their time on their way to the car, Taeyong doing silly things such as skipping on the yellow lines on the pavement and pulling down Doyoung for a kiss whenever he skips successfully. Doyoung lets him have his way since there’s no one around.

 

Taeyong kisses him one last time before he gets inside the car.

 

“Take care, baby. I will see you soon.” Taeyong says, still holding Doyoung’s jacket.

 

“I will see you like I promised. Go now. I will leave when you’re inside.”

 

Taeyong grins. “My boyfriend is so sweet.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Taeyong waves before he goes inside the sliding door that will take him to the elevator. Doyoung waves back, driving off as soon as the elevator door closes. He drives fast that he doesn’t see another car starts and follows him.

 

+++

 

Doyoung wakes from the loud banging on his door. He looks at his phone and get annoyed to see that he should still be sleeping at this hour. It is Gong Myung who pulls him by the collar to go to the living room. It is Youngho who shows him the photos from his tablet.

 

“What the fuck?” Doyoung exclaims when he sees what’s on the device.

 

It’s him and Taeyong from last night. There are more than 10 photos in the album, all of which are of him and Taeyong holding hands in the parking lot, kissing, and smiling at each other. It’s undeniable since both of their faces are seen, Taeyong’s hood down.

 

“What the fuck did you do?” Youngho asks. He looks stressed. He is stressed. Doyoung is sure Secretary Park has affronted him already and maybe, definitely, tells him to clean this mess. Youngho sounds angry but Doyoung feels he is just frustrated because he has reminded Doyoung millions of times to be careful when he is out with Taeyong.

 

“I dropped you off here last night. I thought you went to sleep. I didn’t know you would do last minute booty run. I can’t believe you, Doyoung. ” Youngho sighs, exasperating. His hair chocolate hair is in disarray. He seems he lacks sleep.

 

“I am sorry.” is all Doyoung could say. He wasn’t thinking straight last night and a bit complacent for giving in to Taeyong’s display of affection in a not so public place. He didn’t think that a reporter would be lurking in the parking and catch them on act.

 

Youngho says that the reporter is from AKP, a notorious paparazzi website. They are famous for publishing exclusive photos and rumors about celebrities. Doyoung knows this because they wrote a blind item article about him when he was is Paris. Up to this day, he has no idea how the hell they found out about it. The article didn’t flourish since Doyoung never confirmed nor denied and just disappeared totally from show business.

 

AKP is now trying to blackmail NEO Entertainment, threatening that they would release the photos if they won’t pay them a certain amount. It was sent directly to Secretary Park this morning, thus Youngho was up early because the scary Secretary was on his doorstep and almost making him swallow the phone he was holding where the photos are stored.

 

Gong Myung is still in the room. Although only listening. Doyoung can feel the tension his brother’s body emits. It’s him who convinced Doyoung to come back and try to work again. It’s him who encouraged Doyoung that everything is going to be fine, that he is doing well, and there is no harm if he would try being friends with Taeyong. Doyoung got a kind and supportive brother. He can’t be fucking this up for the second time and watch Gong Myung be upset with him again.

 

“You know Taeyong is our biggest artist and his concert is in a few days. These can’t go public.” Youngho says.

 

“What do we do?” Doyoung asks. He just woke up. His brother might really disown him. His career is on the line and he can ruin Taeyong too. He is out of ideas. At this point, he would do anything the company would tell him just to save them.

 

Youngho shakes his head. His manager id distressed to think. The tension breaks when Youngho’s phone rings. He answers it right away when he sees who’s calling. It’s Secretary Park and he demands that they be in the company in 15 minutes. Doyoung foregoes shower. He changes his clothes quickly and hops in the car with Youngho. Gong Myung sends them out. His brother doesn’t say anything, just like he always does when Doyoung gets in trouble.  

 

“I am sorry, hyung.” Doyoung tells Gong Myung before Youngho steps on the gas. He should be. His brother can’t clean his mess all the time.

 

+++

 

“What are you two thinking?!” CEO Lee’s voice roars in the room. The company’s CEO is furious, his fist lands on the oak table with bang that makes Doyoung’s body shudder.

 

Taeyong and Taeil are present. Taeyong looks like a mess too, still wearing the hoodie and pants he was wearing last night. He clearly hasn’t had proper sleep yet. Taeil is the same. The manager is glaring up him and Youngho across the table. On the other hand, Secretary Park has calmed down, not wanting to steal the company CEO’s thunder. It’s time for them to receive CEO Lee’s wrath.

 

“You very well know that we have a dating policy in the company.” The middle-aged man starts, still shouting. “If you fuck around, just make sure you are discreet and no low-life reporters can catch you!”

 

“Taeyong,” The CEO looks at Taeyong. The singer bows down, avoiding him. “You are here for almost a decade. From being a trainee, you’ve seen your seniors handle their relationships. We taught you about it! You are the last person I expect to be this careless!”

 

Taeyong remains silent. Doyoung can’t see his expressions, his red hair covering his face. Taeil tries to explain that it’s the first time Taeyong has been involved with someone and that it’s his own fault that he couldn’t watch Taeyong all the time and remind him enough about the rule. Taeil is taking the blame and apologizing for Taeyong. More than a manager, he is Taeyong’s closest friend.

 

“And you,” CEO Lee points an accusing finger at Doyoung. He is ready. He is used to this. It’s nothing like he hasn’t experienced before. From his parents, to his brother, to his former managers and company, he knows what to do and their words can’t affect him anymore. “We trusted you because your brother told us you’ve changed. I don’t care if you want to ruin your career. Spare Taeyong.”

 

“It’s not his fault. I should’ve--” Doyoung stops Youngho from making excuses for him. It’s really not his fault or Taeil’s. They did their part as their managers.

 

“It’s me. I wasn’t being careful.”

 

“It’s not entirely his fault!” Taeyong interjects.

 

Doyoung ignores him and continues. “I didn’t think that someone might catch us there. It’s all my fault.”

 

CEO Lee grunts, crossing his arms as he shakes his head. “It doesn’t really matter now whose fault it is. We need to take actions now before that shit of a news site damages us.”

 

Secretary Park finally comes forward. Knowing his capabilities and knowledge in the industry, he knows what to do at time like this. Surely, has handled a situations like this in the past and Doyoung silently thanks the Gods that he is with a company with smart employees and good reputation. Excluding him.

 

“Taeyong’s concert will continue as planned. He will go to Japan right after and then to America.” Secretary Park begins. He is still expressionless just like the last time Doyoung saw him in the room a few months ago during his contract signing. He wonders how he could calm down so easily amidst a trouble. “No one will give a statement to the press. No one shall talk about this.”

 

“We will try to bargain with AKP. They only want traffic that is why they are blackmailing us. This is a big scoop so we will try to give them something bigger. Gong Myung and Soojung.”

 

“But my brother--” Doyoung stutters. He can’t believe they will be using his brother to clean up his mess. “He is not involved in this.”

 

Soojung is also an actress in the company. She has appeared in a couple of dramas with Gong Myung and people are quite liking their tandem. Just like Gong Myung, Soojung is a model and is known for her goddess face. Behind the cameras, he and Gong Myung doesn’t get along that well because of her entitled attitude. But despite their animosity against each other, they work well together. They look beautiful on screen that’s why people likes watching everything they are in. It will be big news if they admit that they are really dating.

 

“We already spoke to him and he is the one who suggested about it. Soojung doesn’t mind as long as she gets all her demands. They are getting ready for the announcement as we speak.” Secretary Park answers,

 

“Why? No. You can’t do this to him and Hye Sung.” Doyoung insists. He is angry now. His brother has done lots of things for him and he won’t let him do this for his sake. He can’t be fake dating someone when he is really dating someone else. What will Hye Sung think?

 

“Do you have any other suggestions, then?” Secretary Park challenges. Doyoung stays mum. “Right. I believe you are in no position to complain, Kim Doyoung.”

 

“As for you, Doyoung,” Secretary Park continues. “Your contract will be terminated from the company. Starting this day, you are no longer part of NEO Entertainment.”

 

Doyoung isn’t surprised. He expected that and he can’t make himself to argue when he knows he doesn’t have any weapons to fight. He nods his head, accepting his verdict. Youngho holds his hand under the table. He is the best manager he could ever have, the best friend he gained in a span of a few months. Doyoung is grateful to him and he will really miss him.

 

“No!” Taeyong exclaims, standing up from where he is sitting. “You can’t do that to him.”

 

“Taeyong, you do not know what you are saying.” Secretary Park replies. Taeil is tugging on the singer’s wrist for him to sit down and stop arguing with the management. “We are doing this to protect you.”

 

Taeyong swats his manager’s hand away. Taeil could only curse under his breath for his talent’s stubbornness. “You can’t just expel him. It’s illegal.”

 

Secretary Park smiles at the singer. “It is part of his contract. Doyoung, tell him.”

 

Taeyong looks at Doyoung and it is the first time since he entered the room that they lock eyes with each other. Taeyong’s eyes are wet with unshed tears and it makes Doyoung hurt even more. He did this. He did all of this to Taeyong and Gong Myung and Hye Sung.

 

Doyoung nods. “The company has the right to terminate my contract if I will be found engaging in delinquent activities.”

 

“But this is not delinquent!” Taeyong yells, tears starts to fall from his eyes. Doyoung wants him to just stop so this can be over. He can’t take seeing him like this anymore. “You are punishing him for something that isn’t wrong. If this is wrong, then punish me too!”

 

Of course, the company won’t punish their biggest star. Taeyong practically feeds half of NEO’s employees. It’s like throwing money if they would halt his activities to teach him a lesson.

 

“Taeil, calm Taeyong down. We will talk later.” CEO Lee speaks again.

 

Taeil stands up and tries to drag Taeyong to leave the room but the singer is reluctant. “No! If he leaves, I will leave too!”

 

“You don’t know what you are saying, Taeyong. Let’s go.” Taeil says.

 

“I am serious.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Taeyong.” Doyoung tells him. He is tired. He wants everything to be done.

 

“You want to leave? What about your career? You can’t leave again.” Taeyong is crying hard, tears won’t stop falling from his face.

 

“There’s no other way.”

 

“There is!”

 

“Stop this already.” Doyoung shakes his head, fighting so hard not to cry. “We can’t do anything anymore. We have to stop.”

 

Taeyong gets speechless. He looks at Doyoung like he can’t believe what he is saying. It is evident on the way he pales that his heart is broken in to pieces, disappointed that Doyoung easily surrenders. Doyoung had no choice. He has to.

 

“If you are so worried about me, fine.” Taeyong tells both CEO Lee and Secretary Park. He wipes his tears and Doyoung sees a renewed determination on Taeyong. “I will stop seeing him but keep his contract. If you want me to date someone to cover this mess up, I will gladly do it. Just keep his contract as it is.”

 

Doyoung has never seen Taeyong like this, so full of conviction like he is ready to fight for his life. How many times should the people important to him save him? First is Gong Myung. Now, it’s Taeyong. He doesn’t deserve him. Taeyong deserves someone who would fight for him and not back down easily like this. He deserves someone not as troubled, not as coward, someone who could tell him their feelings. Taeyong deserves someone not Doyoung.

 

Secretary Park and CEO Lee easily accept. That is what they want out of this meeting, anyway. They just have to play mind games and force Taeyong to be the one to say it. They know how to play and they always win at the end. They knew what Doyoung meant to Taeyong and how Doyoung could just take whatever punishment they give him. They knew Taeyong would exactly react like that because he was driven by feelings. They knew it is his nature to care a lot for someone important to him. They knew they have an emotional artist so they used his emotions against him. They knew he would do anything to protect Doyoung at all cost. They honed him for years. They knew him inside out.

 

Just like that, Taeyong walks out the door without a glance or a single word to Doyoung.

 

Just like that, it’s all over.

 

+++

 

The news about Gong Myung and Soojung is the only thing on TV and the internet all day. Gong Myung hasn’t come home yet and Doyoung is dying of waiting for his brother to come home so that they could talk. Youngho is with him, trying to find a free day to squeeze in the things he missed today. They had to cancel work today. Youngho thinks Doyoung is in not in the right disposition to be around people after what happened.

 

Secretary Park knows about this but ordered that they have to be working again tomorrow to not harbor suspicions and prevent people from talking. Gong Myung and Soojung are handling the issue well, as expected from pro actors, and Secretary wants to keep it that way. No more glitches from hereon.

 

“You have to rest. We have a long day tomorrow.” Youngho tells him when clock strikes eleven. He lets Doyoung deal with his feelings but told him that he has to put it all behind tomorrow. They have jobs to do and bills to pay.

 

Doyoung is in the living room, hasn’t eaten dinner yet. He has to talk to Gong Myung and apologize. His brother may be tired of him saying sorry every time he fucks up but it is the least thing he can do for everything he has done for him.

 

“I am gonna wait for Gong Myung.”

 

“Doyoung, please just listen to me.” Youngho begs.

 

“Go to rest, Youngho I will be fine.”

 

“I can’t rest if you keep worrying me.”

 

“I know what to do.” Doyoung says. He really knows. He understands. He just really needs to talk to Gong Myung. “I promise I will be fine. I will go to work tomorrow like nothing happened.” He assures Youngho.

 

The tall manager sighs, getting his things from the couch. He reminds Doyoung one last time that he would be picking him up at nine tomorrow for his grooming then they would go to the variety show recording.

 

Gong Myung comes shortly after Youngho left. He doesn't look as distressed as Youngho, just like how he normally looks after a long day of shooting.

 

“Why are you still up?” He asks when he sees Doyoung standing in the middle of the living room looking at him. He makes a trip to the kitchen, opening the fridge for a bottle of water.

 

“Hyung,” Doyoung starts. He doesn’t want to cry. He doesn't like crying. He didn’t cry when he went to Paris to follow a guy and leave his career behind. Or when he found out the whole country hates him for being unprofessional, when the rumors circulated that he’s playing both fields. He didn’t cry when he called their parents from Paris and told them that it was what he wanted. Not even when he left Paris half a year later because it didn’t work out for them. But Doyoung has no control over his tears now. They are like waterfalls, continuously flowing from his eyes the moment he speaks. His chest hurts, too. He can’t breathe properly. “I am so sorry, hyung.”

 

That is all Doyoung could say but his heavy heart prevent him from speaking out the words in his head. There’s a lot he wants to tell his brother. He owes him a lot for taking care of him all the time. He shouldn't be involved in anything he does in his life but Gong Myung is always there to back him up. Doyoung loves him so much and he can’t imagine his life without him.

 

Gong Myung takes him in his arms and that’s when Doyoung finally breaks down. He holds onto his brother and cried like he hasn't cried before. He is sorry. He is in pain. He only wants the best for everybody but he still ends up hurting the people around him.

 

“It’s alright. It’s nothing. Don’t think about it.” Gong Myung tells him, rubbing his back. “You did what you have to do. You didn't do anything wrong. I am proud of you. I always am.”

 

“Taeyong… he…” Doyoung looks up, face wet from tears and snot running down his nose.

 

Gong Myung smiles and it soothes Doyoung everytime. He is always been the more charming one. “You can’t stop what you feel. You both like each other and was having a good time. It’s just bad luck you got caught.”

 

Doyoung wipes his face but is still sobbing on his brother’s chest. “What about you and Hye Sung? And Soojung?”

 

“It’s gonna be okay. Hye Sung gets it and knows. Soojung gets her dream Scandinavia vacation. It’s a win-win. We will break-up soon, anyway.” The older Kim shrugs. “Secretary Park says we just have to wait for Taeyong’s North America tour to be over.”

 

Doyoung thanks him and promises to talk to Hye Sung as well to personally say his gratitude for allowing Gong Myung to be in a fake relationship to save his ass.

 

Gong Myung sits them down and Doyoung tells him everything about what went down in the company this morning. He tells him about Taeyong taking the bullet for him because he was too scared of the consequences.

 

“Taeyong…. I don’t deserve him.” Doyoung says forlornly.

 

“Don’t say that. You are only protecting him. He would understand.” Gong Myung taps his back affectionately. “You have work tomorrow. Don’t screw up more and go to sleep.”

 

His older brother stands up to go to his room and get his own rest. Doyoung knows it’s over between him and Taeyong. It should be easy to accept since he never allowed himself to get into deep. But the hole in his heart continues to expand every minute he thinks of him, inflicting pain greater than a heartbreak.

 

+++

 

It’s been work as usual for Youngho and Doyoung the following day. The company is busy with dealing with reporters who are trying to get an exclusive about Gong Myung and Soojung. AKP, on the other hand, got the traffic they wanted. All articles used them as source. For Doyoung, in a snap, it felt like nothing happened.

 

Days pass by and before Doyoung knows it, it’s the last day of Taeyong’s concert in Seoul. The one where he was invited to watch. Youngho has blocked his schedule for this a long time ago so he doesn’t have anything to do today. Today also happens to be Taeyong’s birthday.

 

Youngho tells him it’s not a good idea to go. People won’t mind if he is there as other artists from the company are going too. It’s just that CEO Lee and Secretary Park have made it clear that the both of them shall not see each other anymore. At least until everything cools down. Doyoung understands. He gives the tickets to Gong Myung so that he could give them to Hye Sung, He knows his brother is going with Soojung, anyway. Taeyong likes Hye Sung and he would like it if she would be there, Doyoung locks himself to his room all day, turning his phone off to shut the outside world out.

 

He comes back to work the next day, facing people like everything is alright, like he doesn’t long for Taeyong, like he isn’t falling apart inside. He is an actor. He acts for a living, to lie and make people happy even when it costs his own happiness. Doyoung accepts it is his fate and he came back not to fall in love, but to regain his reputation. He keeps telling himself that to make him feel a little better.

 

_You didn’t do anything wrong._ Gong Myung’s voice echoes in his head every time he is on the brink of a breakdown at night or while he in his waiting room. His brother is the only one who keeps him together. He is his strength and motivation to keep going.

 

Youngho is a great friend, too. His manager knows him so well, knows when he needs to stop and take a break to deal with his feelings and when he needs to get going for the sake of their work. He doesn’t talk about Taeyong in front of him, doesn’t talk to Taeil when he is in the room. Youngho is aware that he is trying his best and he doesn’t want to break his resolve.

 

Doyoung can’t avoid Taeyong forever. It’s only a matter of time before anything about him flashes on his face. He is a star, Korea’s jewel, so he would be all over the news whenever he does something. Doyoung and Youngho are on their way to the next location for their shoot. It is past noon when Youngho accidentally opens the TV inside the van and Taeyong appears on screen. He is currently in the airport on his way to Japan.

 

“I am sorry. I am--” Youngho rattles. He doesn’t know if he should turn off the TV or not.

 

“It’s fine.” Doyoung says, looking out the window. It’s not a familiar road. He doesn’t know where they are. He doesn’t even know what is the purpose of going on when Taeyong is not around.

 

Youngho turns of the TV. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Doyoung answers without looking at his manager.

 

Youngho pauses. He coughs, measuring if he should say the things he would say next. But he does. “Taeil says Taeyong isn’t any better.”

 

Doyoung snorts. “Will that make me feel good?”

 

“No. But,” Youngho sighs. “But maybe knowing that will let you know that you are not the only one hurting. He misses you, too.”

 

Doyoung turns his head, now looking at Youngo. His jaws are tensed and his eyes are pooling with tears again. His heart ached knowing Taeyong still cares and that he is in pain, too. Heaven knows how much he misses him and how much he wants to just run away with him just like he did before. But Doyoung realizes that he can’t always run away when it gets hard for him, when things are not in his favor, He learns how to accept when it’s not in the right time. “It’s not helping, Youngho. Especially when we have no choice but ghost each other. I am on my own now.”

 

+++

 

Three months passed by in a blink of an eye. Doyoung buried himself to work, making him finally land a lead role in an action drama. He didn’t expect he would get it when he auditioned since he isn’t the most athletic actor or has the best body out there. The producers said they liked how his face registers in the camera and that he would look good with the lead actress. That’s why he spends three hours of his time to the gym every day to work on his body. He is lazy as fuck when it comes to exercising but the roles requires him to get bulked up a bit. And going to gym is fun because he goes with his co-star, Yuta.

 

The newbie actor got one of the supporting roles, Doyoung’s best friend. Doyoung is a sweet talker when he wants to so he tried to spread good words about Yuta to the casting people. They said they would see after his audition but they wouldn’t promise anything. Knowing how charming and funny Yuta could be, the staff fell in love with him the moment he stepped in the studio.

 

Sometimes Youngho joins them but most of the time, Youngho just drops Doyoung off to the gym and picks him up when he’s done. Unlike what he initially thought, exercising doesn’t bore him anymore because Yuta makes it entertaining. For the two months of going together, they became closer and Doyoung thinks he has gained a new friend with Yuta.

 

“Are you coming with?” Doyoung asks, wiping his wet body with a towel. They just finished showering, Youngho is already outside waiting for them.

 

Yuta puts on a printed pullover and jogger pants. “Where are we going?”

 

“Barbecue. Youngho is paying.” Doyoung wears his hoodie over his shirt and fixes his damp hair a bit before wearing a snapback.

 

Yuta quips, slinging his duffel bag on his shoulder. “I will not say not to free food!”

 

Youngho greets them then hauls them over to the car. It is their usual barbecue joint, Doyoung’s favorite place because the store auntie dotes on him and always gives them extra soju bottles for free. They shouldn’t be eating a lot since he and Yuta are on a strict diet but Youngho allows them to splurge every now and then especially on a Tuesday night, the only night they could drink.

 

The store auntie beams when they enter the small restaurant. There aren’t many people on a night in the middle of the week so the three of them freely choose where to sit. Banchan and alcohol are served right away, the auntie knowing it’s what they came for.

 

Soon, they are grilling pieces of meat while eating japchae to warm up their stomachs. Trust Yuta for entertainment while they wait for their food to cook since Youngho is on his phone as per usual. He tells them about his dingy roommate and a guy he met at a club last weekend.

 

“He is so good-looking, I swear!” Yuta exclaims. “He is wearing expensive clothes and all and staring at me while we danced. He got cute little dimples but his mouth is the most sinful thing there is.”

 

Doyoung doesn’t know he is bisexual, too. It’s funny coz the three of them are and magically became friends and look at them form a group of bisexual dudes who goes to gym and drinks every Tuesday night. It’s fun, though. Doyoung is enjoying with them. They are great people and they make him occupied.

 

“Did you get his name?”

 

“Not yet. But he slips his number in my pants. I will text him soon.”

 

Doyoung’s eyebrow raises as he takes a bite of pickled radish. “Why not now?”

 

“Dude, I am with my bros. The hoes can wait.” Yuta says. Then looks at Youngho with distaste who is still busy with his phone. “Unlike this one here who disrespects the sanctity of brotherhood by ignoring his bros for his phone.”

 

Doyoung laughs. “It might be work. He is always like that.”

 

“i don’t want a manager like that. I want a chill manager like Taeil. I like him.”

 

Maybe Yuta has extraterrestrial powers who can summon mortals by saying their names because Taeil walks in all of a sudden and all three of them looks up. They know what (or who) will follow and Doyoung’s chest tightens with just the idea of it. Youngho and Yuta freeze when it happens.

 

“Taeyong.” Yuta greets, waves, when Taeil and Taeyong see them in their corner.

 

Doyoung is freaking out. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s been three months since they last saw each other in a not so amicable way. He can feel the thunder inside his ribcage. Taeyong still looks breathless. Even more that he is now sporting a light brown hair. His feature looks softer and he glows. He is radiant and Doyoung always catches himself getting blown away by his beauty.

 

“Hello.” Taeyong greets back. He smiles at the one by one and when it’s Doyoung’s turn, he lingers. Doyoung chokes.

 

“We were looking for a place to eat. We didn’t know you guys are here.” Taeil explains but looks at Youngho. Like asking why he didn’t tell him they are there when they are texting all this time

 

Doyoung is not that densed to notice that the reason why Youngho is always on his because is Taeil. He let him think that he buys his excuses that it’s work. Yes, Taeil is part of work since they are colleagues but what they talk about in private is beyond work.

 

“Do you guys want to join us? We still have room and we have lots of booze.” Yuta invites. Doyoung wants to die. Yuta is well aware of the situation. Why is he doing this?

 

Taeil looks at Youngho, Youngho looks at Doyoung, Doyoung looks at Taeyong. Seriously, he doesn't know what to say. They are not supposed to be seen together in public. This place is practically a place for NEO Entertainment employees as it is close to the company building. Most of the customers are employees and the servers know how the industry goes. They do not talk when they see something.

 

But still Doyoung is hesitant. He doesn't want to screw up and be apprehended again. He finally has a lead role under his name, Secretary Park is not on his sleeves anymore, his career is doing great. Will he take this risk just to spend time with Taeyong?

 

Before he could decide, Taeil speaks. “Oh shoot. We have to go. I forgot about the last minute recording in the studio. We have to go!”

 

“But how about food? You said Taeyong is hungry.”

 

“Burger will do for now. We will eat later when he’s done. See you, guys!”

 

Youngho lets out a dramatic exhale when the two leaves. Yuta rolls his eyes, particularly at Doyoung. He bangs his head on the table repeatedly and prays for the ground to swallow him whole.

 

“That was really lame, Doyoung.” Yuta scowls, crossing his arms. “You could have acted like you are cool with it. But no. You had to glare at him and look like you are ready to kill him.”

 

“I didn’t!” Doyoung denies. If anything, he was scared and panicking.

 

“i wish you’ve seen your face. Poor, Taeyong.”

 

“I was scared, okay!” Doyoung reasons, trying his hard to make sense. “I didn’t expect to see him tonight. I really didn't know what to do.”

 

Yuta clicks his tongue. “So what do you feel now that you’ve seen him again?”

 

“I don’t know.” Doyoung looks down at his hands on his lap.

 

He is being honest. He doesn't really know what to feel. It’s a mix of different kinds of strong emotions. Longing, sadness, hope, admiration, love. He was caught off-guard because he thought it would take longer for them to cross paths again. There’s an overwhelming feeling in his chest when they locked eyes. He couldn’t believe he was right in front of him, looking at him with those round brown eyes. His lips are still plump, kissable. He has lost weight and it made him look gentler, fragile. Doyoung wonders how he feels against him, if he would feel the same or he would be smaller now.

 

Doyoung misses him every day especially now that he has moved into his own home. The interior of the house was designed for Taeyong especially the kitchen. Jaehyun had asked him if he would want to revise it but Doyoung refused, too tired to think and still too into Taeyong. He wanted a part of the singer to stay. He wanted the big bed that Taeyong fancied, the music corner in the living room where Taeyong would play his guitar while composing, the spacious kitchen with a center island where Taeyoung could work his cooking magic. He hasn’t bought all the furniture yet. Only the bed and the oven. The kitchen is bare, only essentials like plates and utensils and a few pans for him to use. The living still is still couchless and TVless. Doyoung hates the TV these days. The bed is the only thing he likes in the house. It’s big and cold and empty, an everyday punishment for all of his sins.

 

“Do you miss him?” Yuta asks, not forgetting to pour Doyoung another shot.

 

Doyoung nods. It’s honesty hour. There is no use in lying. “Very much.”

 

“How much do you want to see him again?” It’s Youngho’s turn to fire the questions.

 

“I think it’s pretty clear that I miss him?”

 

“I think I know just what to do.” Youngho smiles at the both of them. A devilish one and Doyoung knows when Youngho plans something, it is going to work out.

 

+++

 

Doyoung is scared. He really is because this is breaking company rules yet again. If he gets caught, it might be really the end of him. Before his leading man life would even start, his whole career would come to an end once Secretary Park sees him loitering around the concert venue.

 

This is Youngho’s plan. It’s clever yet dangerous. With the help of Taeil, they sneaked him inside when the lights are already off and disguised him as one of the security staff in case CEO Lee or Secretary Park runs into them. Once inside, he takes off the uniform and changes into a black hoodie and puts on a mask to hide his face. Doyoung watches from the side of the stage, beside where the other staff are. Youngho is with Yuta, in a section near where Doyoung is standing.

 

It’s Taeyong’s Encore Concert, only one night before he takes a break from touring this year. He requested it, begged the company to give him a couple of months of vacation before the year end awards show. He would come back by then. He already announced it to his fans. He loves his fans and tells them everything he does. They are very supportive about it since Taeyong has been working his ass off since the day he debuted.

 

Taeil checks up on Doyoung when he can, to make sure he is okay and no one is suspecting anything. It is the first time Doyoung has seen Taeyong on stage, to watch him dance, to hear him sing. He has sang to him multiple times but it is a new experience to be seeing him in his element, in his natural habitat, the stage where he belongs. It’s like a beam of lights shines through him and he glows. He looks happy performing for his fans, to the people who loves his music. The music flows from him naturally, he moves gracefully like he was born to do it. Doyoung is mesmerized.

 

“The next song is a new song that I recently composed.” Taeyong says, introducing the next song for his chill out set. According to the murmurs from the audience, it’s an unreleased song and it’s the first time Taeyong will be performing it. “This song came to life after I went through something a couple of months back.”

 

Taeyong is teary-eyed but smiling as he recollects the things that had happened. “Never be afraid to fall in love. Even if it hurts, it’s all gonna be worth it.” The crowd awwed and Doyoung’s fear subsides a bit with that. Taeyong is surrounded with supportive fans who accepts him for who he is. He never checked how they treat Taeyong online but with just the way they smiled that shows how they are proud of Taeyong for being open to them is enough for Doyoung to think that they love the singer unconditionally. They are the reason why Taeyong is never scared.

 

The song starts slow. Taeyong is standing on the extended stage, spotlight on him. He raps the few words easily, lyrics coming out of his mouth smoothly.

 

_I have been looking for my job lately_

_Cause I had no dream maybe_

_I saw a lot of things that happened._

_I'm not ignored, but I act like I do_

_All of my problem_

_In and out of a world different from my imagination_

_The depressed mind_

_You always wanted to drag me somehow._

_How can you be so strong uh_

_I was busy filling greed I_

_I lost a lot of things._

_The only way to be alone was to have a sense of security._

_I had to believe in it._

_The faith that I was sure to burn out_

_It does not mean weak._

_Yesterday's You and me_

_I will make me today_

_Don't killing my vibe cause this is me_

 

The chorus is recorded by another singer. Doyoung thinks this might be a collaboration when it gets released in the future. The vocals are bleeding with emotion and whoever sang that did a good job on tugging something in the heart. Or maybe it is just Doyoung because the words him right through his feelings. Maybe because this song is about him, them.

 

_Do you think about me too?_

_Do you always cry? When it rains_

_When the pains come in shame_

_When the fame is a jade and I’m born to be made_

_But the cost of the fade I’ve got quickly to shade_

_Ever quickly to hate burning like a serenade_

_Burning like my hurricanes_

_When you said it was wrong_

_Even if there is a right_

_Now I can only dream about you holding me tight_

_Can you hold me tight?_

 

Taeyong looks up when it’s the last part of the chorus. Doyoung wonders what he’s thinking, if he was still hurting, if he regrets meeting him. He wishes he would look down and find him in a sea of people because Doyoung would gladly take him back and make things right.

 

_Broken heart oh_

_A story carved deep inside my heart_

_This short dream oh memories last_

_Unforgettable times_

_Yesterday which was precious_

_Tomorrow yesterday_

_Sorry that I walked away_

_Tomorrow yesterday_

_Yesterday which was precious_

 

The lights fades as the song ends. In the dark, Doyoung sees Taeyong run from the stage to prepare for the next set. Taeil is there at the right side who catches him when he runs to him. He could see the outline of his shoulders shaking while his manager rubs his back. Doyoung wants to be the one to hold Taeyong and tell him he will never let go anymore. He wants to tell him how he hates seeing him cry, how much he misses seeing him smile. But Taeyong disappears with Taeil before he could even take a step. After the intermission VCR, Taeyong comes out with all smiles and jolly attitude, ready to end the show with this last set. Doyoung feels his heart shattered into million pieces again.

 

+++

 

Youngho tells him it’s time when everyone has deserted the stadium. Yuta is patiently waiting in the car while Youngho makes sure that CEO Lee and Secretary Park has left. Doyoung hides in the male restroom near Taeyong’s dressing room. Youngho picks him up after Taeil texted him that Taeyong is already alone in the room.

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong looks up from his chair, shock evident in his expression when Doyoung enters the room. He puts down his phone and pauses whatever he is playing.

 

“Come with me.” Doyoung says, watching the door even if he knows that Taeil and Youngho are outside. He is scared but he has to appear brave in front of Taeyong.

 

Taeyong picks his phone again from his lap, like he didn’t hear Doyoung.

 

“We have no time.” Doyoung says.

 

“Do I look like I care?” Taeyong answers, annoyed at his persistence. “Tell Taeil I am done with this. I want to go home.”

 

“Please.” Doyoung begs. It’s the first time he has ever used that tone of voice to Taeyong.

 

The singer is surprised hearing him talk like that. He sighs. “What do you want?”

 

_You._

 

“I can’t talk here. We have to go somewhere else.” Doyoung says. “Your bags are with Taeil already. You just have to go with me.”

 

“Of course, this is already planned.” Taeyong rolls his eyes but he stands up. A good sign, Doyoung thinks.

 

Doyoung opens the door for him. Taeil and Taeyong goes out first, Doyoung follows, and then Youngho. They get into the van where Yuta is waiting. Youngho drives, Yuta on the driver seat. Taeil and Taeyong right behind and Doyoung at the back.

 

“This is exciting!” Yuta exclaims.

 

Taeil and Taeyong wonders who he is and why he is so enthusiastic about this.

 

“I am Yuta, by the way. Nice to meet you Taeyong and Taeil!” He wanted to shake their hands but he is strapped in his seat. Doyoung is thankful that they decided to take adopt Yuta in the group because they need someone to ease the tension at times like this. He turns his attention to Taeyong. “Great performance as always, Taeyong! Love that Yestoday song!”

 

“Uhmmm… Thanks, I guess.”

 

“Why is he here?” Taeil finally asks.

 

“He is our friend.” Youngho replies.

 

“Yeah. But why is here?”

 

“Okay. I take it back, Doyoung. Youngho is the best manager in the company! Taeil hurts my feelings!”

 

“Seriously?” Taeil looks back at Doyoung.

 

“You’ll get used to him. He is nice.”

 

“Was he the one who was supposed to act in my video?” Taeyong finally speaks.

 

“Yes, that’s me!” Yuta butts in. “But Doyoung came in and stole my role. But everything’s cool. He’s my bro now.”

 

“I am sorry about that. It was just a last minute change.” Taeyong apologizes with his soft voice and Yuta actually melts.

 

“Oh no! No no no! It’s fine! Don’t say sorry oh my God,”

 

Taeyong smiles at him and Doyoung knows that smile petrifies people. Yuta shuts his mouth, blushing in the process. It’s cute because Yuta never blushes If anything, he is the one who makes people blush.

 

“We’re here.” Youngho says as the vehicle makes a full stop. They are in a basement parking again and Doyoung feels Taeyong tenses on his spot.

 

“We will pick you up in a few hours.” Taeil tells Taeyong. “Sorry, I can only give you until dawn to talk. We can’t risk raveling you in the morning.”

 

“It’s more than enough.” Taeyong says.

 

Doyoung gets off the van first, walking straight to the elevator without looking back. Youngho and Yuta will take Taeyong to his unit before they drive off to somewhere. It’s safer if it’s the three of them with Yuta’s arms around Taeyong to conceal his face if ever there are cameras around. They arrive a few minutes after Doyoung. Youngho reminds him that he would call when they are on their way back to pick up Taeyong and Yuta gives him a wink and a thumbs up before they leave.

 

Taeyong is roaming around the living room when Doyoung closes the door. There is nothing to see since the unit is almost bare and lifeless. The walls are painted plain white, no paintings or decors hanging. Not even a couch to sit on. Only a light brown carpet in the middle of the room where Doyoung sleeps occasionally. Jaehyun was angry about Doyoung’s decision to postpone the project until further notice. Doyoung needed a place of his own where no one would see how miserable he was. He wanted to be alone. And this place is the only thing he had.

 

“This is the place you mentioned?” Taeyong looks back at him. He is standing by the tall glass window that overlooks the Han River. He thinks about Taeyong standing there in the morning holding his cup of coffee or at night wearing his robe after making love.

 

Doyoung nods. “It’s not finished yet. I just wanted to show you.”

 

He hears Taeyong breathes. “And you live here now?”

 

“Yeah. For two months now.”

 

“How can you live in here? Where do you sleep? Do you even cook?” Taeyong asks. It makes Doyoung hear swell. He still cares about him.

 

“I have a bed in the room.” Doyoung points at the door of his bedroom. “Sometimes my mom brings me food and I put them in the fridge. But most of the time I still eat with Gong Myung, or Youngho, or Yuta when we go to the gym.”

 

Taeyong gasps, like it is the biggest news he has heard today. “You go to the gym now??”

 

Doyoung really wants to close the distance between them and take Taeyong in his arms but he doesn’t want to scare him off. He has to make him comfortable first and make him trust him again. He thinks he is doing well because Taeyong is asking questions and is actually talking to him.

 

“I do. I have to for a role.”

 

Doyoung sees Taeyong eyes his arms and chest. It’s not obvious when he is wearing two layers of clothing. “Do you want to see?”

 

“No.” The singer refuses right away.

 

“Anyway,” Doyoung walks to the kitchen, subtly removing his jacket so Taeyong can have a glimpse of the strokes of his muscles underneath his T-shirt. “This is what I really want to show you.”

 

Taeyong follows him to the kitchen and stops at the center island. He touches the marble top, a small smile on his lips. He wanted a modern kitchen in his place but he has no time to renovate so he works with what he has for the meantime.

 

“The oven goes here.” Doyoung directs him on the empty space beside his two-door fridge. “I will buy a better stove soon together with the oven but for now I have this.” It’s a standard electric stove that Gong Myung gave him when he moved in.

 

“Utensils?”

 

“Ahhh. Here.” Doyoung open the first three drawers, showing two sets of each utensils.

 

“Why did you move in right away? You could have asked Youngho to buy the things for you.” Taeyong pulls out the light green ceramic mug. Just like the others, it’s standard. Doyoung could do better if he wanted.

 

“I wanted to decorate this house with you.”

 

“What?”

 

Doyoung takes the mug from his hands to hold his and Taeyong jerks with the sudden movement. He doesn’t pull away, though. Doyoung traps the singer between him and the sink. Taeyong gulps, evidently scared.

 

“Doyoung?” Taeyong croaks, voice breaking.

 

“I am trying so hard not to kiss you right now.” Doyoung closes his eyes because he knows he will drown if he looks straight into Taeyong’s. “There’s a lot of things I want to tell you.”

 

Taeyong doesn’t fight. He stays still as he watches Doyoung compose himself and say the words he is dying to tell him.

 

“I am sorry I am a coward. I couldn’t fight for you. I was too scared losing my job and ruining you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just can’t fail for the second time because I won’t ever forgive myself.” Doyoung is crying now. He doesn’t have the courage to look at Taeyong, to appear weak in front of him.

 

“I really want you, Taeyong. I never told you this before but you make me happy when I am with you. You make me feel things I haven’t felt before. When you said I was beautiful, I wanted to laugh because nothing was more beautiful than you. You keep me dreaming. You make me a better person. I will not be here now if it wasn’t for you. You keep encouraging me, supporting me even if you have your own stuff to worry about. You take care of me and I really want to reciprocate all of that. But I am just..” Doyoung chokes on his own sobs. Taeyong caresses his cheeks, wipes his tears with his thumbs. When he lifts his head up, he sees that Taeyong is crying too, silently. “I do not deserve someone like you.”

 

Taeyong pulls him down to kiss his lips. Doyoung tastes tears, not sure if it is his or Taeyong’s. Taeyong’s lips move with his softly, not dominating or pushing. Doyoung misses this so much, misses Taeyong’s scent and warmth against his body. Doyoung wraps his arms around the smaller’s waist and kisses him back.

 

“I deserve you.” Taeyong whispers on his lips. “I do not deserve anyone else other than you. I chose you because you are braver than you thought. You can throw everything, even your whole life, for someone you love and I think it’s one of the things I love about you.”

 

Doyoung steals another kiss. It’s hard this time, poking his tongue on Taeyong’s teeth so he would open up. Taeyong allows him in and he kisses him deeper, tongue licking the roof of his mouth.

 

“I love you.” Doyoung says. It feels so good to finally say it. He feels free.

 

Taeyong buries his face on his neck and sobs.

 

“Why?”

 

“I was waiting for you to say that to me.”

 

“I love you.” Doyoung repeats, embracing the singer’s small form as he kisses the top of his head. “I love you so much. Don’t ever walk away from me again.”

 

There are a lot of things that they still have to talk about. Doyoung promises himself that from now on, he would tell Taeyong everything, from his worries to every little thing that happens to his day.They still have to work on how to break into the company that they are dating again. It will come with a price and knowing Secretary Park and CEO Lee, there would be terms. They would have to compromise to make this work because Doyoung can’t let his happiness slip away from him anymore.

 

“I love you, too.” Taeyong murmurs on his neck. He punches Doyoung’s chest without much force. “You are mine and you won’t ever get rid of me now.”

 

Doyoung won’t ever mind.

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1) The lyrics are from the song Yestoday by NCT U. I know the song is about the hardships of Taeyong, Mark, and Lucas during their trainee days but every song is an abstract art that could be interpreted in many ways. I took the liberty in transforming it as a way to express Taeyong's feelings in this story.
> 
> 2) Secretary Park is actually Jisung hehehhe (if I didn't make it that obvious)
> 
> 3) Bonus points if you guess who Yuta met at the club :))
> 
> 4) Thank you for spending time on reading this monster! I really appreciate it ^__^
> 
> If you like, you can whine at me on  
> \- [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaetensed)  
> \- [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jaetensed)
> 
>  
> 
> ^_^


End file.
